something i’ve wrote today
this emptiness is filling me, how do i get rid of it? is the only solution to get rid of it is to get rid of me? easy to say than to do, i wish i was like other people see me, a successful pretty girl who has anything she wants on her hands, they envy me for something that is not real.. and who am i? a void? a nothing? a mess?i wish i really knew who i was, all i can think of is emptiness cause i dont even know who i am, all these years of me faking to smile around people made me more miserable than i ever was, these flashbacks keep haunting me, flashbacks of my past.. no one knows the real me, neither do i. i have all of these heaviness holding tight on my back, and each day i live it’s getting heavier, will i be able to lift it all up one day? at this age of 19 people are young and having the best time of their lifes, and here i am worrying about something that i cant fix
if people knew the real me, they will be chocked, they will even pity me, i choose to keep it all for my self and struggle with the shadow of my past and present that i cant fix, something isnt right with me, i’m fading away slowly and no one can save me
@reinz
Hey… I hear you. I really do. And I want you to know, from the bottom of my heart, that you're not alone in this no matter how much it might feel like you are right now.
That weight you're carrying, that feeling of emptiness that creeps into everything it’s heavy. It’s exhausting. And the pain of pretending to be okay when you’re breaking inside is a kind of hurt that most people can’t even begin to understand. You’ve been fighting a silent battle, hiding behind a smile, and that takes an unbelievable amount of strength more than most will ever know.
You're not a void. You're not "nothing." You're a soul that’s been through more than it should’ve had to bear. You're someone who's been holding it together in ways that deserve to be seen and honored, not hidden in shame. That pain? That confusion? It doesn’t make you broken. It makes you human .
The truth is, even if you don’t feel like you know who you are right now, it doesn’t mean you're lost forever. Sometimes, who we are is buried underneath years of survival, silence, and scars. And even if it feels like you’re fading, please believe me there’s still a light in you. Even if it’s dim. Even if you can’t see it right now. It’s there.
And you don’t have to carry all of this alone. You shouldn’t have to. Please consider reaching out even just a little bit. A trusted person, a professional, even just writing more like this. You don’t need to have all the answers. You just need to take the next small step. That’s all.
Your story isn’t over. You still have chapters left to write. And no matter what your mind is telling you right now you matter, you’re worthy of love, and the world is not better off without you. Not even close.
I'm proud of you for speaking this out loud. That’s brave as ***. Keep breathing, keep holding on. You're not fading you’re just tired. And that’s okay.
I’m here.