Acceptance

Dear Diary:

I have finally made up my mind that my family members were abusive to me while growing up and through most of my young adulthood. I faced everything from bullying to forms of oppression when I was doing things that were naughty. Other times there were violent behaviors or odd forms of physical abuse. Still, I was often bullied through taunting or cut down out of the blue. Over time, I became angry with them began retaliating back by first threatening to kill them while others I learned how to fight back physically whenever my mom and sister picked on me. Yet, I gained a reputation of being the abusive one and not them. They also tried to gaslight me by saying that I have schizophrenia or bipolar disorder and set examples. They were even nice to my face but talked about me behind my back by spreading things about me that were not true. Finally, the abuse came in the form of neglect. When living near one aunt and uncle, I spent Easter alone while watching my aunt and cousin snub me at church. I tried to tell the pastor but he brushed me off with a $20 bill and told me to get dinner and remember what Christ did on Easter. I even called my mother who said, "Well you're aunt is a doctor and she thinks differently than you do."

Today, I am having flashbacks and I am crying about the abuse that was afflicted on me.