Accepting that my aunt was abusive

Once upon a time:

I lived with my late aunt between 2003-2009 and while she had great qualities, the woman was a covery narcissist.  She was never supportive and was never warm, fuzzy or genuine.  There were times where she would outright abuse me for "Not doing things her way."    Though controlling me worked for a while, I eventually became too independent for her grasp which led to a conflict that eventually had me moving out.  To her, I was the one with the problem who was selfish and self-absorbed while the gravy train came to a screeching halt or so she put it.

What's more is that the tension between us began growing in July of 2009 when I turned on her computer in her office to try and log onto the internet when she was not home. What was the purpose of that?  I was logging into her internet so I could sign up for fall classes, which failed.  Additionally, I decided not to tell her, which I now know was wrong.   When she came home on that Monday, suddenly she was betrayed and could not trust me.   After that, the outbursts, the belittlement, name calling tensified.   Suddenly everything I did that bothered her either made me stupid or a know it all. Othertimes, I was the controlling one.   Yet, whatever the reason one, suddenly I was walking on eggshells around her.  For instance, I would make calls on my cell to a friend during peak times on my phone which led to a surcharge.   

During that moment when I was dying my hair and looking for some peace, she yelled at me while the door was closed.   At at this time that I told her that I could not keep stepping on eggshells around her.   After that, she first began telling me that she could not live with me anymore.  After that, things became more and more certain that my days living with her were over.   While, I felt sad and scared, the more I liked the idea and moved out 3 months later. 

However, no more abuse, no more bullying, no more tears, just peace. 

Still, there is something you should know and while there were more rumblings in years but I will save that for another time.    However, she died a year after that second set of rumblings that left me going no contact with her.   Still, I feel haunted by what the mess she put me through and I am here crying today, which is ok. 

Love Summershy