Coping methods that can be hurtful.
Hello everyone, I'm going to share this here as it seems a space to vent.
I will add a Trigger Warning in case someone else feels triggered by this: cgl, age regression, kinks, fetishes.
I went to trauma when I was a child and sometimes I feel I didn't have the time to be a kid. About a couple of years ago when I started to accept the fact that trauma happened and that it is affecting my life I wanted to find a coping method. I didn't get much help from psychologists as it is a topic really hard to talk about and at first they didn't seem to take me serious. I started looking on internet and I found a community "CGL" which we're I first saw it, people would sell it as a coping method and I liked a part of it when I could live childhood again. At first it seemed good, I told a close person about it and they were supportive so i decided to try with my partner of that moment.
My partner never really wanted to get into that and after we broke up I tried finding someone to try with. I started to find weird things, sexual stuff that made me uncomfortable, and when I started talking to others in the community I only got more and more triggered by people asking for inappropriate things and being inappropriate in general. That was when I found out there are different communities and a HUGE difference between them as some of them are about age regression the real coping method and some are communities of a kink. In that moment I decided to join a community that really focused in the coping method but to that moment I felt awfully guilty, I felt I made part of the awful thing that happened to me before and continues to happen to a lot of kids. I kept trying the coping method because I wanted something that could make me feel better somehow but being there I was often triggered and guilty, I would get flashbacks, I was falling into a darker state of mind. I got threatened by people who pretended to want to support my coping method but then they would suddenly become monsters. Even when I tried to create a place for only age regression away from any other community, I couldn't feel safe anymore, I would even feel as part of something terrible due to people who sexualize the coping method.
My point with this story is for others who are considering this coping method, who are part of a community like this but don't feel really good about it to be really careful. Maybe to others can be different than to me but I met a lot who went through the same when they only wanted a safe space. If you decide to try this, please please please be very careful who you talk to.
I am making this post for people who is looking for a healthy coping method but doesn't know what to try, for people who went through something similar and want support. This is a big trigger for me and I'm posting this only with the hope to help others so please don't interact with me if you're going to be rude or to defend any of those communities, I'm not here do debate a triggering topic.
@Imaginativa2930
It does strike me that the foundation of the CGL community is sexually related, pretty much in a BDSM way. And each to their own. But it doesnt surprise me that you found people being quite suggestive towards you, and inappropriate for what you wanted from the community. Perhaps if you found someone particularly nurturing who could put their sexual need aside, or at least just conduct it at a pace and level appropriate for you. Though it strikes me that may be like looking for a needle in a haystack in a relatively sexualised community. But thank you for raising this. Its interesting to think it may form a role in trauma recovery, though as you identify, it could be highly triggering.
@DeborahUK Yes, cgl is part of bdsm. While some might not want to be sexual if they are part of cgl they're still part of a bdsm community. There are different communities that aren't linked to bdsm and consist in age regression. I think is very important to highlight this difference because crossing different communities is triggering and hurts people who use the coping method.
It is really hard to find someone who actually cares and respect boundaries in a common relationship, so in this lifestyle is even harder as one is mentally and emotionally vulnerable and there are many predators out there, that's why I decided to make this post with the hope to help others not to go through that.
Thanks for your comment^^ have a good day.