Deal
How do/can you deal with something so awful it was traumatic? I think about it everyday, I'm still scared, I don't talk about it anymore (I used to, it didn't help). I lost everything when I moved across the country to live with a psychopath who abused me in as many ways as he could for as long as I was with him. It was the straw that broke my back, if you will. I left six years ago and I still am not ok. I have trouble leaving the house. I go to group, therapy am on a few medications.
I have a son and a long distance fiance. I think we've been long distance too long (almost 2 yrs). I feel so alone and I don't feel anything for him sometimes. I loved him, he is a good man. I just want to feel something again, something for him, for my son, for me. This life where I hide at home as much as possible doesn't feel worth it, and it doesn't feel real.
You've been through some incredibly traumatic times in your life, @Moxietonic, and that can easily take its toll on you.
You've taken a lot of positive strides in your time since then and I really would like to say that I congratulate you on doing that. It takes courage to take those steps. It really does. And while it may seem as though things are really dark some days, don't give up hope and don't give up on those positive things in your life: your son, your fiance, and you. It's easy to lose sight of those things.