Does this sound like abuse to you?

Hello all, I'll be transparent about the fact I'm posting this here because I am far too ashamed to tell anyone my story in person. For this same reason I've never been able to tell if what happened to me was truly abuse or not.

I am a 24 year old male. When I was in ninth grade, I was a pretty lonely kid and I'd previously come from a special education school and I didn't really know how to socialize very well. That year I got myself into a relationship with a girl I believe was a sociopath. She would constantly hit me, bite me, scratch me, and I still have a scar on my arm where she sliced me with a knife. At the same time this was happening, I made friends with another girl who was older than me, she was 17 but she was a senior at the time I was a freshman. I think she too was some sort of sociopath or narcissist. At the beginning of our friendship she insisted that we watch porn together. Time went on and her behavior became very strange and perverse. I remember her putting her hand down my pants and feeling me up, sometimes with other people around and she would somehow laugh it off and make it into a joke. Several times she convinced me to strip down into my underwear and she'd apply make-up to my face, and she would laugh and take pictures with her friend. She also said if I didn't kiss her boyfriend I wasn't really a man, or something along those lines. And on top of this, my girlfriend at the time and this girl I was friends with became aquainted through me and ended up getting along, the both of them forcing me to strip and have makeup put on my face so they could laugh and take pictures together.

So, after all that ended I never really gave it much thought, I just tried to move on. I did have a few relationships after that but I noticed some really weird things that kept happening to me. Most noticably I've had erectile dysfunction from the time I lost my virginity to the last time I had sex. I am unable to get fully erect and my erections are easily lost, and I don't think this is normal for a male of my age. Each time I had a relationship I found myself with girls who were very passive aggressive and manipulative, and they more or less initiated the relationship instead of me. I noticed that upon physical contact with women I start trembling and shaking and I have an elevated heart rate. Each time I notice girls smiling at me or noticing me it gives me a jolt of anxiety.

These past few years I've been totally alone and it's given me some perspective on the things that happened that I just tried to push out of my head. I never thought that men could be physically abused or sexually abused by women, and I'm still not sure if that's what happened since they were also in high school like I was. I also have a chronic addiction to pornography that I'm ashamed of, it makes me feel like I'm a mentally disturbed individual. Anyways, what do you make of my story and what do you suggest I do?