Forgetting Bad Memories
Over the past few years ive been struggling with some bad memories that really haunt me. Memories from my childhood and a growing dislike for my parents which isnt exactly justifiable. Im haunted by the memory of my uncle punching my horse over and over for something my cousin said my horse did, but didnt do. I was young and ran away in tears. Im haunted by my horse "screaming" and his eyes locked with mine. I also cant forget agreeing with my disgrace of an uncle who told me he did what he did to teach my horse never to do it again, even though i knew my cousin lied. Im haunted by my brothers screams as a kid too. My parents used to smack one of my brothers harder than they smacked and of us and much more frequently. Im always haunted by my mom shouting to my dad "hit him again, harder!" And my brother screaming "no." We were not abused children but they did hurt B more. My dislike for my parents stems from them being lousy as parents these past few years. They're just not interested in their children, even me and im on the other side of the world to them. I havent spoken to them since New Year and my grandparents find this shocking to believe since i speak to them on skype at least once every week. How do i deal with all of this?! The memories and thoughts hit me hard when im happy and feeling good and then i feel horrid. They longer in my head all day no matter what i do and they stay there even when im trying to sleep and they keep me awake. Help!!!
Your parents and your uncle are abusive. These are never easy to forget and will crop up.from time.to.time. it will get easiernifnyou seek some counciling.
Thanks for your response. Is there anything I can do to help myself now? I'm traveling and finding it difficult to find any support without leaning on my boyfriend too much. I'm struggling with other things too, but this one thing I don't think he can help with. He keeps telling me to just "forget about it" and "these things happen" and "you were young, you can't blame yourself" which is all easier to say than done.
I've been trying to think of happy times and happy places whenever these thoughts pop into my head but they are so persistant they stay there!
The thoughts and feeling don't ever go away entirely. But you are off to a good start by thinking of happier moments. Also try writing it all down forgive thrm and yourself then burn it to release it. So when they come up.agian.the pain is not so bad.
This is a great idea phxangel, thank you. I will try this :)
I had a really unhealthy relationship that just ended and he almost emotionally abusive if he wasn't. I have horrible memories of the time I watched him try to stab himself and I didn't stop him and the time e was going to let me buy a gun to hurt myself with. Also the time he left me to die in his parking lot when I overdosed. I don't have too many traumatic events in my last but those are some of them and they make me feel like a horrible person
Almost the same thing with me. I took my ex boyfriend in when he had no where to go. He slept in my car and I fed him for over a year. Then I come to find out he cheated on me twice. Once while I was on a cruise and another on our anniversary. He once tried to kill me choking me till I passed out. He punched me numerous amounts of times on my ribs to the point it made me throw up. I was visiting him when he threw all my stuff out in the cold and threw me to the ground outside of his apartment. The. Continued to drag me across the pavement by my hair.
What exact event signifies abuse. I DONT THINK EVEN THOUGH I HAVE AN TERRIBLE TIME SHARING MY LIFE STORY BECAUSE OF IT SEEMINGLY insignificance. I dont believe you have to gave g ad some catastrophic event necessarily to have been abused.
I didn't say I was abused?? I said"we were not abused children" and we weren't. I would never say my parents abused us. Ever. But it is true that they punished one of my brothers more severely than they did the rest of us and there's certain times when they did that I can't forget.
didnt mean too use capps by the way. dont want you too think I was being angry
You have to distract your self when bad memories hit. I had also some horrible bad memories and they haunt me down but I would call a friend , listen to music, read something immediately, sing so loud, watch tv. Do anything that I have to use my mind so the memory will go away. I was hit very hard for a very long time but I remember most when my siblings used to be hit. My older sis also used to be hit more than me and I can't forget hours of torture :( but life goes on and I keep distracting my self. 7 cups is good also . I read forums :)
Thanks for your response. I try to do the same too, distraction sometimes works but I guess I'm kind of hoping for a way to forget these memories altogether. If I'm asked to think about a happy memory as a kid these bad memories pop up and I can't think of a happy moment in my childhood - which is a total lie because I was a happy kid, I just struggle to think up something happy to replace these badmemories.
Try to think happy memory from another phase of your life not as a kid :) i was sort of a happy kids with a lot of happy moments, but sad moments are much much stronger in our head and we tend to forget the happy moments, maybe talking about more than once will make the horrible feeling lesser so when it will come to your mind it will become a little peacful memory :)
Let me know when a unicorn flys out of your 3rd eye so I can have a unicorn christmas ornamant.
