Giving up faith in god (this week)
After 29 years of having faith in god I am offically done. I realized I have been so stupid to keep praying and praying repeatedly to never have any of my prayers answered. I had people tell me for yeara god does not exist and its just a make believe story. I now believe its true. I now equate god to the tooth fairy and santa Claus. Never once has god ever protected me or made me feel safe. I have complex ptsd from child abuse, rape, stalking, assaults and numerous other things. People always say god will provide but I dont see god providing. I only see him providing for certain people. He does not provide food when people need it thats why there is starvation and people going hungry. I decided to put my bible in the trash and I feel better. I feel stupid also for keeping a book that never made any sense to me and stories, words etc. That make no sense. I realized its stupid for me to hold onto something that does not help me. Most people ive known who are all religious have really been demonic anyways. Im ready to let go of this crap. I also feel the bible is so stupid because a certain group of people get persecuted and have to go thru all this pain. Why should someone have to live a life of pain. It's so dumb. Im glad to be letting go of god and letting go of prayer. Why should I be thankful for having nothing and barely making ends meet?
@BirdLover90
First of all, you weren't stupid for praying and being religious in the first place. Religion is often something we're raised into and have no choice but to follow. It's okay to question your beliefs and move out of religion. To me that tells me you're growing as a person, which can only be a good thing.
I think the fact that you felt better after throwing the book away tells me this was a long time coming! You'll feel less stress about whether what you're doing is good enough for 'God' and instead of relying on prayer, you can make an active decision to make change or learn to accept the things that aren't in our control.
Give it some more time, see how you feel without religion and if you still feel better, then don't be ashamed of it. Embrace that new you, I'm happy for you. :)
@BirdLover90 heyy i moved this to more journalling stories as the checking is for team members who post checkins
