How do I carry on?
Ok, I've read a lot of stories here. Most of which are probably worse off than mine. But I am struggling so hard today. It started with my teen daughters depression. She wouldn't come out of her room. Found out she was cutting in there, and that's why. She spent a year and a half pushing me away, despite me begging her to come out. Begging her to open up and let me in. Would not. So finally got her into therapy. There she told the therapist she had thoughts of jumping off the new school gym built across the street from our house. Long story short, she was hospitalized for a week and a half. Came back, got a little better but nerves were still bad. Was put on antidepressants, still going through therapy. Then she got into a relationship, which they broke up with her. And one day her friend contacted me and said she was withdrawing from everyone and saying scary things that she may end up doing something she'd regret. Then, I got texts that she was going to move in with her dad th first chance she got. He's not been around very much. Now, she's moved in with him. 4 hours away. My family went through all this too, (we have a son who's 9) and now that she's gone..we don't know what to do with ourselves. Feels like our family was torn apart. Oh, and she acts like she hates me th majority of the time and won't text much at all. I feel like I'm grieving. I feel exhausted. I am at work right now, wishing I were at home in my bed. I'm depressed now. How do I carry on? Friends are more like aquaintences, and way too busy to hang out. I feel alone. Husband is the only one who I have. But sometimes, I need to talk to someone different. Anyone else going through anything similar??
@amarie7188
Hey! Just wanted to check-in with you. 
Before I start, I must admit that I don't know what it's like to be a parent but I do know what it's like to be in your daughter's shoes.
As a teenager, depression can really mess with our minds. We often take impulsive deicisions and push away those who wanto to help us. Your daughter may be feeling lost, confused in this great big world. She may not believe that there's any purpose in life. I know, because I felt that way too.
I would imagine a parent would feel frustrated, scared and worried and at the same time, confused about how to best help their child. The thoughts going through your mind might be "What's wrong with her? This isn't who my daughter used to be". Just know that her thoughts aren't her. In that mess of thoughts, somewhere in there, you will find the person she really is.
I'm just glad you've let her have access to therapy. Many teens in that state don't have access to proper help.
As her mother, some days you'll feel like nothing is getting better. Other days, you might see that glimmer of hope in your daughter's eyes. Sometimes, the best thing you can do is leave the door open. Whether she wants you around or pushes you, let her know that you're always there holding the light...hoping she'll see it one day.
Staying strong for your daughter is easier said than done. Seeing her like this has an adverse effect on your mental health. Remember to take care of yourself too..Being able to confide in your husband is a comfort but I understand why you may feel the need to reach out to others at times.
You could try the parenting filter on the browse listeners page to reach out to others who may be facing similar circumstances.
Take care..don't lose hope~Sierra
Thank you for your kind words. She is living with her dad now, so I don't get to see her as much as I'd like. But I told her that I'll always be there for her. I may not always understand everything she's going through, but I definitely will always love her and support her. Even if we are 4 hours away. That's the hard part. I raised her 13 years, then she moved in with her dad. I text her almost every day tho. One day at a time. I just want her to be ok. And if a new school and new surroundings help. So be it.
