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I was in a relationship with a guy for six years. He threatened me every other day. I can and will kill myself if you leave. Youre the only thing keeping me alive. During the six years, he consistently went from loving and affectionate to volatile and toxic. He said he was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder, and that I just had to get used to the way he treated me. This is just the way I am. You cant change me and Ill be damned if you tell me what I already know.

Aside from using every little fear I confessed to him as a weapon at some point, he also took advantage of me sexually a couple times at the beginning of the relationship. I told him I didnt feel like it. I wasnt in the mood. He didnt care...he screamed at me and threw threats at me until I finally just caved in and gave him his way. Another time he just pushed me down onto the bed and...after I told him no.

I moved away from him to get away. We maintained contact because I was too scared to abandon him. This lasted about two years. During that time, he told me he bought a gun and that he wasnt afraid of using it on himself. He reminded me it was MY duty to satisfy him and make him happy. My concerns arent important. My dreams are best off ignoring. My entire life was supposed to revolve around him. If I left him, it would be my fault if he killed himself.

But I just couldnt take it anymore. I completely ghosted him several months ago.I shouldnt of...but what else could I do?