I feel my sanity slipping.
On the 9th of May this year a friend of mine pressured me into taking something called 25i-NBOMe. I ended up collapsing having around 9 seizers and dying 3 times then after a while i fell into a coma.
As far as I can tell I was tripping in the coma and when i woke up I remembered small parts of it. hospital was a nightmare but it was not until i left i started having flash backs. They started becoming more and more clear and more frequent. I just wanted to relax and so i smoked a few joints and started to hallucinate again and freaked out i was panicking but managed to calm myself. However i remember the trip from before and i feel like i lost my mind in there for a while and i'm finding it difficult to think about.
I'm finding it hard to sleep and my view of a lot of things has changed. I just don't feel safe in my own headspace anymore and that's the scariest part. I have always been safe in my thoughts and always thought about everything a lot but i can't think about the event without a wash of dread smashing through my body.
I am pretty far removed from the recreational drug scene. Inmyopinion, (your mileage may vary) all types of abuse (sex, drugs, alcohol, food self-harm, physical or psychological, suicidel) and 'escapes' (music, writing, reading, pornography?maybe not the last one so much) are ways in which we look to alleviate or escape the pain which is a part that all humans suffer from.
Look for the source, not the symptoms. You may need assistance (which can take many forms). You do need to try.
Never forget to be kind, loving, and patient with yourself. You will stumble; we all do! Just reorient yourself and keep going.
Do whatever you need to do in order to stay physcaly and emotionally safe.
@IrrationalLogic
Sending a tag your way due to the reply from Jeff below :)