I guess I

I feel like after everything my family has put me through, the hardest incinsent I still deal with is the death of my pets. I cared for an African dwarf frog (Frodo) and rescued guinea pig (Bean) for over two years (got them a few months apart/ guinea pig wasn't planned but he needed a home on short notice). In early January 2020 my frog stopped eating. He passed 23 hours later. I remember holding Bean and saying you better not get sick anytime soon. Since Bean was rescued and had come to the shelter under strange circumstances, his age was unknown and we didn't know anything about his medical history, so really every day was a blessing with him. We were inseparable and I really came to rely on him when dealing with things in my life. I mean I did with Frodo too but he wasn't vocal or cuddly like Bean lol. Two days after Frodo's death, Bean stopped eating or drinking water. He stopped being active and I took him to an emergency vet clinic. They couldn't tell much at first, but gave some prescription food and said to come back in three day's. He died that night. I had given him a dose of his meds and gone to work. Two hours later I came back on my break for his next round, and found him in his crate. No one was home and I remember laying in the floor holding him and sobbing until my neighbor heard my screaming. For weeks after I couldn't go in that room without hearing myself scream in my head. It's still hard to sleep in there without his noises.