I really need an opinion on this... *GRAPHIC*
Ok so I'm really nervous to adress this issue. But I am adressing it because sadly there's no one speaking about this where I live, and many people who I've told this to literally don't believe me. So please give me your opinions on this please. Is very GRAPHIC so please take that into consideration. If this is too strong or I'm going against any rule here, please say so , I'll take the post down.
So in my last abusive relationship I was in my teens. I never had sexual intercourse (penetration wise) but I did preliminares and such. And here is how things got very ugly.
EVERYDAY after school my ex would force me to do sexual things. I think we all can understand where I'm going... One time he even tried to actually go inside and me crying and saying no. This last one after me telling my actual boyfriend he said it was a rape attempt. Is it true?
The other part is that many times my ex would force me on the preliminaries but ... let's say injure my intimite part. To the point nowdays I feel like it isn't normal there... It hurt SO much... and everyday I would tell him no, I don't want it, please stop it hurts and his phrase would be "oh please, you always end up not crying, it shows you want it".
So my question is, is this also rape? He didn't penetrate but he forced physical sexual contact ...
I'm sorry this is so graphic I'm just struggling so much. I'm 22 and I feel like there's something wrong with me... I'm a virgin yet doesn't feel like it...
I want to have my first time happy and relaxed with my current boyfriend but I'm terrified. I keep having flashbacks, super lucid nightmares.. And this thing in my head "was I rapped?" .. I don't know... no one talked me through the boundaries on sex.. where does rape start?
Either way thank you for reading. It means alot to me.
p.s- I apologise if you find any spelling errors, english isn't my first language and doesn't help I'm shaking and anxious writing this.
@Booklover95 - Hi and thanks for having the courage to speak of this. Technically (or legally) the actions do not fit the definition of rape (which is defined as sexual penetration) but it is definately sexual assualt (unwanted sexual contact that falls short of rape). I think this would probably be best discussed with a therapist (here on 7 Cups or elsewhere) as they would be able to give you specific advice.
I wish you luck and safety!!!
@cdkeivit
Thank you for explaining my head has been a mess for years. Thank you
@Booklover95 - Hi BL and Happy New Year! I wanted to check in and see how you are doing. Feel free to reach out whenever you need to!
@cdkeivit
I'm well actually. I had a hard night due to panick attacks but aside of that I'm ok!
I've been learning alot here in the community and I'm healing bit by bit :)
I hope you're ok aswell and that 2018 is going great so far
@Booklover95
Rape does not have to include direct intercourse, it can be any type of pennetration, be it with a body part or other object, in any hole in the victims body. Non-penitrative unwanted sexual contact is still sexual assault or sometimes a rape attempt. I hope you are in a better place now and am glad you decided to reach out for support.
