I've been sexually assaulted three times.
Three times, three different men, three different situations.
The first time was two years ago. I was 17 and a virgin. The second time was eleven months ago, and the last time was five months ago.
I'm in therapy but it doesn't seem to help. I have triggers from all three incidents. I can't seem to deal with it at times, it just drags me down to the point where I'm so depressed that I don't want to do anything.
I have social anxiety now, because of the assaults. I have an irrational fear of guys. I can't be physically close to a guy without having a panic attack. Even going to the store and passing a stranger in an aisle gets me anxious. I'm always looking over my shoulder.
I've been called damaged goods because of what's happened. I don't believe in sex before marriage, but that's out the window now. I've never been in a relationship. I don't know if I'll ever be able to trust a guy enough to open myself up to him and be able to be in a relationship and be intimate.
I'm so scared of guys now, it's sad.
I think you should consider changing your therapy since you say he/she doesn't help you at all. Everything takes time to heal, try to take things slow :)
I guess I phrased it wrong. She has helped in some ways, such as letting and helping me talk about it. I wasn't able to talk about it for a long, long time.
But I can't get out of the mindset that I'm damaged goods, that I'm not worth it, that I'm worthless, that somehow I asked for it. She can't change my opinion on that. I'm not sure anyone can.
I'm not sure if seeing a new therapist will help or not. She's helped, but it hasn't been breakthrough help though.
Thanks for the advice. (:
See that's a problem right there you shouldn't refer to yourself as goods you not an object or a thing your a human being with a mind and a concious if you refer to yourself as an object that is no longer good how do you expect to heal and my be on, I suggest trieng some confidence building techniqes , maybe your therapist can help with that, and I do understand what your going through I was raped by my own my mom for years, and I use to be extremely afriad of women. You are not an object you are a women with emotions and a soul always remember that no matter what any one tells you
My be on was suposse to say to move on
i'm very sorry for both of you for what you have been through, just remember that there are so many ppl suffering like you , that will help you to understand that you are worth it and you never asked for it and it wasn't urfault, this could happen sooooooo many times like night said and like what happened to me by my own mom as well as i was molested by her for years but since i met soooooooo many ppl who suffered the same i know now that i am perfect but i had horrible ppl around me and it was not my fault as no one request for harm things to happen to him/ her even if it got repeated million times, you are strong and pure and all your feelings are valid.
I am actually at peace with most of what happen to me, took me a long time to get over it, it was a bumby road but I am stronger mentally now then I have ever been, all I'm dealing with that is left is loneliness but thank you for you words
I'm really sorry you're having to go through this. It takes alot of strength and courage to open up here. I've been in a simialr situation, and can understand what you're having to deal with. It isn't easy. What you're feeling is completely normal. There's no right or wrong way to feel or react. It's a matter of taking it one day at a time. I'm glad you're in therapy and doing what you need to do to work through this. If you want to talk or need some xtra support feel free to message me, or browse some of the listeners that have experience in helping people deal with trauma. Take care .
Hi, although I am a guy, I am afraid from guys, pretty much as you are afraid of them! I had a weird, sad, strange, and very scary experience, that when I ever remember it I get cold, and hopefully I want to forget about it in the next future. But as a human being you are very important, and not as you think 'worthless', because it is important to have everyone in this life for all of us to live. Sometimes I have the same thoughts that I would not do anything, but talking to the right person helped me, although I think that I need more help. But you have to talk to the person you feel comfortable to talk with, and would listen to you, and give you the positive feelings. I think that you must rethink about it, and you MUST continue your life as you like, wish, and love. I wish you a very best luck than ever. We all wish you...