Male Survivor of Childhood Abuse
I am an adult male survivor of child abuse. I was abused physically, sexually, and emotionally...by my own parent. I don't remember the exact age, but I was molested between the ages of 8-10. Between the ages of 9-16, I was physically and emotionally abused as well. My was an alcoholic. I don't even know if he remembers half the stuff he did. From the age of 8, till my early twenties (My age now), I kept it to myself. It eventually built over time, and I broke. I came out about my abuse to a few of my pastors, close friends, and eventually my family. I have not told ANYONE who abused me though. I feel like if I said anything, it would DESTROY my family, and I would end up in danger. This has caused me to feel trapped. I feel I'm in a deep hole, that I can never get out of. My dad and I work in the same place, so even when I don't want to see him, I run into him from time to time. I can't just quit either, because it's my only source of income. How could someone be attracted sexually to a child. How could someone lay hands, or tell a child they are worthless. I don't get it. Pedophiles are disgusting! Child abusers are heartless!
@MrDrumz16424
There is evil in the world, and we personally often struggle with moral choices everyday.. Small stuff usually, do something right thats hurtful, or do something shady, which gives us some adventage. How we see and make those choices depends on where we are, and what the influences on us are..
We are animals, that have all those deeply dark, selfish instincts, and the thin patina of civilisation, the angelic part of us is just an whisper of prayer.
If you look at most religions, who deal usually with questions of moratlity, they usually prohibit one from acts that compromise ones inhibitions. Drugs, alcohol, toxic relationships .. things that open the door to shit that should be burried. Why would one consistenty go into that direction.. i dont know. Some might feel to broken, to weak or cowardly. Seeking respite from own personal hell, not caring that sometimes they pull others into it. Some might be evil and enjoy those moments of emoverment, feeling enlarged by the possesion of the predatory instinct. Some will have given up and died inside..
What do YOU want , and what path you choose to go forward ?