My strengths and qualities - despite being affected by traumatic experiences
Traumatic experiences can have a devasting effect on your life and most often leaves many feeling worthless and despondent. Traumatic experiences can lead you to blame yourself, suffer survivor guilt, shame, have low self-esteem, little to no self confidence and a poor self-image. However, your experiences do not make you who you are. It is easy to believe the messages we have been left with, but we are more than our experiences and we tend to choose not to listen or accept that we are okay, we are of value, we are worthwhile and are loveable. Therefore here's a challenge for you!!! :)
I would like you to think of 3 examples under the following headings. You can do this in private or if you wish to share here your answers, then you are more than welcome to :)
1. Three things I am good at
2. Three compliments I have received
3. Three things I like about my appearance/who I am
4. Three challenges I have overcome
5. Three examples of when I have helped others
6. Three things that make me unique
7. Three things I value the most
8. Three times I have made others happy
1. nothing
2. nothing
3. nothing
4. only 1 : my fear to try something new
5. when i answer to forum posts or help other members on the rooms, and when i volunteer. but can't think about a third.
6. nothing
7. not sure.
8. when i gave clothes and food to homeless, but i can't think two other ones.
sorry, this exercice is too hard for me :(
@TortueDesBois You made a great start!!! Most people I know would probably find it really difficult to find or say anything good or positive about themselves, but helping others in the forums and helping the homeless are two great qualities and traits you have :) And to face fears and try to overcome them is also another massive achievement :)
If I was to add to you list I would say you are unique, there is no one like you - Your posts are informative, kind, interesting and thought provoking. I valued your posts I have read and you have certainly helped me to think of different perspectives when I have read them So as well as helping others by posting posts, you are also helping to increase knowledge in others, understanding in others, and compassion in others :) These of course are just some of my perspectives, it doesn't mean you can or are able to accept or believe them, and thats okay. :) You have to find answers that feel right for you.
But well done for giving it a shot!! Thank you
@dancingRainbow45
1. Three things I am good at
*Computer stuff
*School
*I built most of my furniture
2. Three compliments I have received
*People tell me I have really pretty eyes a lot
*I've been told I give really good presents. Like, birthday and Christmas and Mother's Day and stuff
*When I wear my TARDIS dress I always get stopped by strangers who tell me how much they love it. Which is both awkward and awesome :)
3. Three things I like about my appearance/who I am
*I love my red hair
*I sponsor three little girls, and my favorite part of Christmas is filling tags off the Angel Tree. I try to be a good person.
*You know what, I do have pretty eyes. They're hazel green, so they have orange, green, and blue in them :)
4. Three challenges I have overcome (I wouldn't exactly say "overcome", but I'm still alive and mostly functional)
*Physical and psychological abuse as a child
*Physical, psychological, and sexual abuse between ages 18 and 24
*Rape, enough times that I honestly don't know how many, separate from the abuse
5. Three examples of when I have helped others
*I'm always helping people at work with technology
*Every year at Christmas I pull at least three people off the Angel Tree (the last few years I've done 4)
*My three little girls that I sponsor. One in Burkina Faso, one in Haiti, and one in Mississippi
6. Three things that make me unique
*I have a rather large collection of antique books from around the world going back to 1750
*My apartment is a mix of antiques and uh, well, Disney stuff and stuff from tv shows like Doctor Who. Like, I have Audrey Hepburn on my wall, and also prints from Alice in Wonderland, Snow White, Gilmore Girls, Doctor Who, etc.
*My tattoo
7. Three things I value the most
*My family
*My books
*My therapist and you guys here :)
8. Three times I have made others happy
*When I refinished my grandparents' kitchen cabinets and bathroom vanities and all the trim in their house
*When I got my step dad tickets for his birthday for all of us to go to a White Sox game together
*When I remembered my mom on Teacher Appreciation Day when no one else did
This was actually really difficult, but I need to do things like this and really think about the answers. Today has been rough, but I have to keep fighting. Because a certain someone told me, in another thread, that I am bigger and stronger than my history, and I need that to be true <3
@BeeLeigh Way to go, I am loving this new searching for the positives. Its so good to see this happening. It may not yet stop the bad days from occuring, but on those, get this list out, take a look and it and remind yourself of these things because they are amazing :)
@dancingRainbow45
Yesterday was a really hard day from the beginning. But even though it started out bad, for the first time ever I didn't feel like I was alone in it. I was just starting my day, but I was lucky enough to have someone help me who was ending theirs. She brought me back. I can't ever bring myself back no matter how hard I try. Emotion takes over and logic loses every time. I never would have made it to work without her, and I don't know how I would've explained that to my bosses. So I focused on what she did for me instead of why I needed her. Because that was the only way I was getting through the day. I had to find positives yesterday cuz it started off on such a negative. I try to find them every day, but I really needed to yesterday. I can't let them win.
@BeeLeigh I think sometimes just knowing you are not alone in your struggles and that there are people that genuinely care can mean an aweful lot of people going through rough times. They may not have to say a lot but just knowing there is someone there can definately help you pull through. Though you say at the moment your not able to do this for yourself, the fact you reached out is a small step, big step in the right direction. You may not master everything you wish to overnight but little by little you will :)
@dancingRainbow45
I know others have had similar experiences and deal with the same things, but I have always been alone and terrified in the moments I needed someone most. But yesterday, she held my hand and walked me through from the other side of the world. I don't know if she realizes just how much that means to me. Because I really have always been alone, and I can't make it stop.
1. Three things I am good at:
1 Helping people
2 Creating music (singing & playing the piano)
3 Writing
2. Three compliments I have received:
1 "You are a good singer"
2 "You are a good writer"
3 "You're beautiful"
3. Three things I like about my appearance/who I am:
1 I am fit and in shape
2 I am a caring person
3 I am intelligent
4. Three challenges I have overcome:
1 Bullying
2 Medical conditions
3 A parent's early passing
5. Three examples of when I have helped others:
1 Taking chats on 7 Cups
2 Helping people online in various support groups
3 Helping family members
6. Three things that make me unique:
1 I am a talented musician
2 I am a proficient communicator/writer
3 I am very artistic
7. Three things I value the most:
1 Family
2 Health
3 Faith / Spirituality
8. Three times I have made others happy:
1 Winning four first place awards at musical competitions which made my father proud
2 Completing school which made my Mother happy
3 Winning an award at a music competition which made my voice teacher happy
@IsabelleJ Wow! Well done you for being able to find all these positive things to put down. It looks like your quite a musical person. Be very proud of yourself for being able to see all of this despite any problems you may be going through for it can be very hard sometimes to remember these if you go through a difficult time. Remind yourself perhaps of these if you have a day where you are not able to see these things as easily :)
@dancingRainbow45
Thank you, Rainbow.
@dancingRainbow45
Thank you, Rainbow.
@dancingRainbow45
Thank you, Rainbow.
@dancingRainbow45
Thank you, Rainbow.
@IsabelleJ
I have no idea why that reply showed up multiple times
@dancingRainbow45
Thank you, Rainbow.
