She hurt us
I'm new here- to 7 Cups of tea. I'm actually new to even talking about what happened to not just me, but a group of us. I don't know how to start or what to say, but it's time for me to finally get it off of my chest. I have complex PTSD. And it was repeated traumatic events that caused it- and I've finally come to accept that it wasn't my fault.
It was her fault. I'm still not used to talking about it- it's really hard so I'm all over the place right now. But here goes I guess.
It was my gym teacher- see, when I was little I went to a private school so things worked differently. Each group of kids (1st, 2nd and 3rd graders) was grouped together, and we all had the same teachers- and the same gym teacher. The only good thing about what happened was that my sister never had her. She tortured my gym class, made us play dodgeball with golf balls and plastic fruit- when we wouldn't throw them at each other she'd join a side and start throwing golf balls at us, never the fruit. It hurt so bad- she laughed.
I was her favorite target because I was so small and timid- and I had this overbite she'd mock every day. She'd tell me to come up in front of the class, and she'd put her hands on my shoulders and start mocking me in front of the class. "Look at her rabbit teeth- isn't she ugly?"
No one but her would laugh.
She gave us all small notebooks so we could keep track of what we ate- and she'd mock us if we ate 'too much'. Call us fat, worthless pigs.
Every day we had gym. Every day.
@SadPurple
I hear how horrific this experience must have been for you, but I hope you can see what a pathetic bully that teacher was. It's worth looking closely at those people who we viewed as monsters when we were children. If you encountered someone behaving like that to your adult self, how would you view them? Someone to be revered and feared, or as a deeply unpleasant and inadequate bully?
@DeborahUK
Thank you so much for not only responding, but asking a question that really made me thing. It has taken me a long time to not feel at fault for what happened to me and my class, but I'm finally understanding that that horrible teacher was the problem- she was the bully, and I never want another person like that in my life again
@SadPurple
I guess as kids we're programmed to respect adults, especially teachers. So if the teacher showed contempt for you, it would be easy to think, as a child, there must be something wrong with you personally. But actually she sounds like a deeply flawed individual. If the way she got through her working day was to bully a group of children who were in her care, I'd say there's no doubt she was the one with the problem. Definitely not you.
Welcome to 7 cups by the way. Good to have you here :)
@SadPurple
