Still traumatized
Last November, I was involved in a financial scam. I lost more than $25,000. Basically all the money I have. This person was introduced by an acquaintance. I think my acquaintance told this person a lot about me, so he quickly got my trust. Long story short, scammed all my money, I reported to local police, but money is forever lost and I am in debt. Need to pay off a loan to the bank. Basically, all the money I'm earning from my job now, is used to pay it off. Which means, I have no extra money for myself. I haven't been buying my own groceries, my wardrobe is extremely out-of-trend, and I'm back to having trust issues, especially when colleagues ask me to try dating sites to meet a potential husband.
I almost got into an argument with my dad yesterday morning. I was telling him that he shouldn't be going out so much because the air quality in our area is bad (fires burning, and smoke in the air). Then he goes off telling me, that I don't go out at all, for anything, but to work. I stopped myself from responding him, because I know I will just get frustrated and it will turn into some sort of argument. My thought process is, I don't have excess money to spend. So, there's no point in going out. It's not like I don't want to be out and about. But this is something I don't want to bring up again. This experience, was unfortunate, and I'm still angry at myself for being stupid and believing in what I'm being told. I guess I made things worse because I'm also the type of person who has trouble saying "No" when being asked to do something. Except this time, I paid a big price and it backfired.
I'm still quite saddened by this, and I can't share it with my family, so the only place I can think of, is here. Things like what my dad has said, triggers me. I was quite depressed during my shift at work, even asked my colleagues not to talk to me much. I actually felt emotional at work yesterday, I almost wanted to have a meltdown. I'm not quite back to normal yet today, I think it'll take a few days to calm my feelings. I'll try to act okay at work though, and just dwell on my own time. Reading over what I have written here now, is making me teary. My career changing goals and wanting to finish my Diploma, now all has to be postponed because I don't have the money for it.
Thank you for reading this far~
@Jaeteuk I honestly can't even imagine how you're feeling right now. I'm sure you had to sacrifice and work a lot to have that money, so losing all of it must've hurt so deeply.
I truly hope that you'll be able to get some peace. May I ask something that I didn't quite understand: does your father know that you lost all of your money? Can he help in some way?
Wish you the best, truly!
I told my family about it after I took up the courage to report it to the Police, a nurse a work gave me the little push and told me I need to report it. My brother and mother each had to lend me a few thousand dollars for me to pay my bills and to keep a certain balance for my bank account. At one point, my mum did ask me if I would like them to help me pay of the loan in one sum. But I told her, it was my mistake for being scammed, and would only be more responsible if I paid it off myself.
I'm literally broke. I'm afraid to tell my family how I'm still traumatized and that my living is not ideal or even healthy. (Although I do still live with them). They are seeing it as me being lazy. I only tell my brother when the person tries to get me to accept a friend request on Instagram. It still happens about once every other month, the same name of the guy who tricked me into giving him money. From this incident, I've deleted my Facebook and changed my other Social Media accounts to Private.
I've had trust issues to begin with in regards to friendships in the past. Had been abandoned a few times when I tell the other person I have depression, and I had been taken advantage of my kindness and loyalty in another friendship. Now, I'm friendless, and with a higher level of trust issue after this incident. I'm worried about my future. I don't know if I'll ever be able to have even just one best friend, or if I'll ever find a husband. I'll be turning 36 early next year, and have been single for 18 years! (This is a whole different fear and story)~
@Jaeteuk it's totally natural for you to get more suspicious and build walls. No one can blame you for becoming hypervigilant. Tho wouldn't be a good step to be honest with your family and show them your fears? Let them know that right now you are still mortified with all this situation, to the point that you even put every social media private (im glad you did, it's safer that way).
Perhaps that would be a good first step for you to start
I've never really shared with my family of my feelings, as there's nothing that they could really do either. It would just make them worry more about me~