*TW* My Father ran me over with a Bulldozer at the age of 4.

Back in May 1999, I was 4 years old, going on 5. I was my father's oldest child, my mother's 4th child. We were spending Memorial weekend out at my father's 40 acres. He was landscaping a bridge in between two ponds while my mother, my one year old brother, and I played on the side in the larger pond. My brother needed a nap and change, so they went back home for a bit. My father played with me in the water for a while. I had my life jacket on and it was so nice out. I still remember the sunny day it was. Hour or so went by and my father needed to get back to work. He asked if I wanted to join him or keep playing. I wanted to keep playing, and I did, for a while. After a bit of being alone, I changed my mind to work with him. I still remember leaving the pond water, walking through the tall wild grass, looking up, and everything going black.... A lot saved me that day. Being so young, wearing a life jacket, the dirt so soft, reversing straight, and reversing quickly. My father said he turned to the water and did not see me. When he turned back, he saw me literally pop up from the dirt in front of him. I cried that I couldn't see. I was terrified. My eyes were 2 inches out of my head, bloodshot. My pelvis fractured in several places. My kidney and spleen severely damaged. My right leg nearly torn off. I was rushed to the hospital and then transported to a child's hospital 3 hours away. I was only admitted for 15 days, in a wheel chair for a month, and started school in the fall. It was a miracle I survived and unbelievable that CPS ever got involved. I grew up thinking my stubbornness caused me to get hurt. That it was my fault. I was raised being told that if I had died, that it'd be because of me that my dad would have killed himself. I grew up in pain here and there and was told by my parents that it was in my head by the time I was in high school. By college, I began to yearly go to the ER and get no answers. My parents thought i was crazy. That it wasn't real. When I finally got an xray, it showed my whole skeletal was out of alignment. I am going through physical therapy to try and correct this after 22 years. I am in counseling and out of contact from my parents and they were very toxic. They did not do all they could to better me, but knocked me down any chance they got to feel better themselves. I wanted to share my story in a way to vent as I do not have people to talk this to besides my limited time in therapy. Thank you for listening. I appreciate it.