The second time it happened.
Sometime I wonder why me. Twice as a child I was persued by pedophiles and earlier this year I was assulted by a drunk old man.
My second one is what I need to vent about. I was taken in and groomed by a pedophile and he did most of it online. He found me in a Yahoo chatroom. We talked though Yahoo and Myspace and then over the phone. He was there when I was going through alot, including cutting myself.
Long story short he is now in jail and has a few more years left. It was not until a few years ago that I found out on my own he was up for parole and that I could speak against him. No one had even told me he was possibly getting out. I found out on my own and it destroyed me.
This will now be the 4th time to speak again St him as I got the email a few days ago. So far I'm handling it well but I'm terrified. I believe he thinks I still love him because I told him that over the phone when he was being arrested and told him I would wait for him. He sent me letters for 2 years after he was sent away before the FBI stopped him
I'm just scared. Scared I will lose it and scared of what could happen if he gets out. He is 4 hours from where I live. I know I can get protection against him but the fear is there as I am now a mother of two little girls.
You guys can ask questions if you want. I don't mind. Just needed to vent
@Skittlezlife The question of why Me Skittle is something many trauma survivors ask themselves, but the reality is, you did nothing wrong, you were a victim of someone elses decision and choice to hurt you. Often those who have been hurt are incredibly vulnerable and often abusers can pick up on a needy or vulnerable child but this is no justification for hurting a child. Every adult has a responsibility to protect and keep safe another child, not exploit the childs trust and vulnerability.
Im sorry you had to experience grooming online. I am always one who advocates for people to stay safe online and not to disclose any personal information or details and not to share anything they are not comfortable doing. But I know grooming can be done in very sophisticated ways which is why many people fall foul of those who are predators. If you decide to talk online in the future. perhaps take a look at this link to keep yourself safe
https://www.counselling-directory.org.uk/staying-safe-online.html
You mentioned about speaking to him? Im slightly confused when you said this will now be the 4th time to speak again to him? What contact are you having with the person who groomed you and how do you feel about him now several years on. You can always contact a legal service in your area to discuss any forms of protection you may be able to take out such as injunctions etc.
@dancingRainbow45 I will not be speaking to him but to the parole board. I was looking him up online one day to see what news story's were still up about it and ended up finding out what prision he was in since my father was never told and when I saw he was up for parole I contacted the prison and since then have been signed up to speak against him to keep him in jail for the full sentence
@Skittlezlife1 Ah okay thanks for clarifying that, as I wasnt sure I had understood correctly what you had meant. How do you feel about speaking against him? 
@dancingRainbow45 I'm scared as always but at the same time I can already tell this year is different because usually I'm an emotional mess and so far I have been doing ok for the most part.
