This us what happened and where I am.(possible trigger)

When I was little,(about 7or8) my older sister started molesting me and hurting me physically. She would say that what she did and made me do was the only thing she liked and that I would get hurt really bad if I said anything to anyone. That continued about 4years and it didn't bother me much because I didn't know it was wrong and I didn't think about it much. Then, recently my dad has started sexually abusing me and raping me sometimes. After he started this I found out not long ago that it is really bad and wrong what has happened to me. That's when I stopped handling things in an okay way. I've started self harming and I have a lot of anxiety and panic attacks. I get in trouble for getting out of bed late, but I am too scared to leave my bed some of the time because I am so worried about what could happen. I feel really lost and broken, terrified, used, useless and worthless. I'm not okay, but pretending to be okay is the closest thing to bring okay for me. Sorry for the long post.