Thoughts
I'm not sure how this is going to go but I should probably give it a try. Don't use my voice very often but I'm choking inside so have to get some of this crap out......
I have survived the first day at my new workplace
why did I have to be the one to move?
scared
what if I am totally useless and mess this place up too?
am I really rubbish at my job? Surely I would have an inclination if I was?
does 19 years service count for nothing? Am I being punished?
lost and alone
I have no one I can turn to
Hard to trust when all you know is hurt and rejection
So much going on inside but it's all jumbled and knotted together
scared I will end up back in the dark place, can't fight it again....
@crimsonLime6525
:)
type....delete.....type.....delete
These last few weeks Ive spent a lot of time on my own with not being at work and its made me realise just how pathetic my life is.
Empty.....
days sitting staring and lose hours at a time....
am I losing my mind?????
is this what my future holds?
if it is I dont fucking want it!
forcing myself to try to feel something except hatred for myself but I just cant, no matter how hard I try
Tired of fight
nothing left to give
@crimsonLime6525 Hey Lime - You've been in my thoughts alot lately. I know it's hard to find the words sometimes to say how we feel - what we're thinking. Idk - maybe some of it is we worry - what others will think of us - Especially with what we think of ourselves. Some of it fear - making ourselves vulnerable. Sometimes maybe we ignore things - sweep it under the rug - pretend it isn't there - but we trip over the bump sometimes and fall on our faces. I'm not really sure where I was going with this - I guess - I just wanted you to know you were in the heart and mind of someone today
Be gentle with yourself and your thoughts
@mytwistedsoul
i just wanted to say thank you, I really needed this today. Will write more when the tears stop
@crimsonLime6525 You're welcome Lime :)
@CrimsonLime6525 Hey Lime :) just wanted you to know you've been in my thoughts. Its really nice seeing you around in the checkins
Be gentle with yourself and your thoughts
Not sure how I'm feeling, found out I will be going back to work on 4th August. Been on furlough leave for 19 weeks now due to the virus
@crimsonLime6525- wishing you a peaceful day upon return to work. Transitioning back to being around people will take time and adjustment. Be easy on yourself- hope you found a calm image to keep with you at your workplace.
@crimsonLime6525 Hey Lime - Just wanted you to know you've been in my thoughts. I hope today went as well as it could for you. I hope returning to work went well and they had everything set up and you felt safe and comfortable while you were there
I made it through day one
@crimsonLime6525 That's awesome Lime! I'm so proud of you! May I ask - was it as bad as you thought or maybe not quite? Sorry lol - I get too nosy sometimes - no pressure to answer lol :) I think I would be a nervous wreck on that first day!
Yay you! :D
@crimsonLime6525- we are thinking of you-it has been over a month since returning to work- hope all is well.
@crimsonLime6525 Hey :) you've been in my thoughts. I'm sending you good vibes and warm thoughts
Be gentle with yourself and your thoughts
Hello everyone
I hope everyone is ok and staying safe.
Woke up early hours of Tuesday morning and as you do was checking my emails, reading news headlines and discovered that the company I work for had announced to the media that it was planning on making 6000 redundancies, almost 20% of its workforce. Got a message from my boss later that day to ask me to join a conference call in the afternoon where I was told that yes, what had been said in the news was correct and we are now in a period of consultation regarding our jobs being at risk. Not handling this well, only went through this a few years ago but nowhere near the scale of numbers (last time they only lost 400 due to restructuring) I live above work so if I lose my job I'm technically homeless.
im absolutely sick of this, don't I deserve a fucking break from things? It just seems like things start to settle a little then something comes along and knocks me with a sledgehammer, how much shit does one person have to put up with!!
sorry to anyone who read this as I know my language isn't the nicest but I'm just quite angry, upset and scared
@crimsonLime6525- just present to hear you out. I have hopes that your position will be safe. My swear words would have even more colorful. TAke care.
