bad things happened to me when I was younger (sexual harassment warning)

so back in my freshman year i made friends with this senior and while I never really said no, I always got unwanted sexual comments from him about how he wanted to touch me or do things to me

we were about 3-4 years apart in age and i really didn't know anything back then except how gross it made me feel when he talked but, I wanted to be mature and have "Expierence" like everyone else

He never did anything more than corner me in a door saying he wanted to (nsfw) hump me and

Years later now (I'm a senior) I just feel awful about this, I tried to forget about it but it doesn't leave and I even dream awful things about this. I have a boyfriend now who loves me so much and cares for me in so many ways and understands what I went through but

I can't bring myself to want to touch him sexually sometimes, it just makes me feel really gross even though I want to! I don't understand what's wrong with me

I want to be able to forget about all that happened, and to not feel so gross anymore

this wouldn't be my only traumatic experience but it is the only one that makes me like Touch repulsive

I'm just sharing this but, if anyone has any possible answers or advice, or even support, I'd greatly appreciate it