it won't stop

I've been having recurring nightmares since "that" incident in January. I don't think I can disclose here what really happened as I still feel ashamed and guilty for it, although I don't even know why I feel guilty but I do. But well, I felt really helpless that night. I was so pale after it happened, I got hot flashes, and I was trembling, but I didn't cry. I think I was too terrified to cry.

The nightmares wouldn't stop since then. My roommate even said I sometimes whimper in my sleep. The nightmares happened every single night. The morning after isn't any better. At one point, I would just randomly cry because I'd remember it, felt like I was reliving it over and over again. I feel jumpier now, as if I should always be alert or it would happen to me again.

I just don't know when or if this will ever stop. It's tiring to be afraid every single minute. I just want it to stop.