30 yr old woman with Complex PTSD
Currently doing CPT/IOP for PTSD. Also diagnosed with anxiety and ADD. I’ve been with this guy for over a year. I just now realized that he is a malignant narcissist. I have a plan to get out but it’s going to take patience and a lot of faking it. I have 4-5 more days of waiting and I just need somebody to hear me. I need somebody to validate me. I need to make sure my reality stays intact because he’s being twisting and manipulating it for so long that I don’t know left from right, up from down, right from wrong, real and not real, I can’t trust my own thoughts, emotions, or decision making skills and I’ve had a literal pit in the bottom of my stomach since I realized this. I’m terrified and I feel alone. Just looking for support for the next few days without getting caught on this app 🙃
I am so glad you have a plan to get out of your situation @AmorisEtLux, and that you can act soon!
You are strong, smart, and brave for seeing the problem, coming up with a solution, and putting it into practice. You have been dealing with this for a long time. While the wait can be agonizing since freedom is so close, you can do this!
Trust in yourself, stick to the plan. The only person you can ultimately rely on in life is yourself. You're putting on an act just to survive, but remember that deep down, it's you in there: the smart and strong person!
Please feel free to reach out in the forums or to someone on 7cups if you can. I would also like to recommend connecting with services in your area including emergency services as needed.
@CowAtSeven
Thank you so much for your kind words. I ended up breaking up with him on Friday night. It was pretty rough but I stayed calm and didn't show any emotion. He refused to leave at first, so I locked myself in my bedroom and told him if he made one wrong move, I was calling the police. I was called a bitch, psycho, crazy, etc. And now he is crying and begging for me back and saying he would give his life for me.. I'm still standing my ground but I feel extremely weird. I don't miss him, but I feel like someone is supposed to be here with me. Like literally anyone.
@AmorisEtLux
That is a huge step and you are brave for facing everything with such tenacity!
Continue to stand your ground. Hang in there.
It can be hard to do things alone, but you are more than capable! Lean on your friends and/or family if applicable.
@AmorisEtLux
Hey, sounds like you are in a very confusing place, but regardless you seem to know what you want to do and how to help you which is really strong of you! I think it's incredible you are making this decision, and it sounds like you know it is the right thing even if it is a very difficulty thing to do. I have nothing else to say but hang in there, you can do this :-) I believe in you! Even though I don't know you I genuinely feel that way. Best of luck to you in these hard times!
