Feeling Judged Because of my PTSD... #FJB
I dont know if this is the right place for this or not but I get a lot of grief from people I work with because I dont take showers with them at the end of the day. They say things like you can shower with so and so, he will be gentle or hear stories of them grabbing each other. Because of my father sexually molesting me as a child, I have never taken a shower around another guy.
Greetings Whyme,
I have C-PTSD, due to many years of sexual abuse by multiple perpetrators, including my father. Like you, I never felt comfortable taking showers with other people. I was always ashamed of my body and had no real sense of self-acceptance. I still struggle with so many issues.
Thank you so much for sharing your story. I think I should post here more often.
@cinnamon, thank you for your response and understanding. Im just sorry that your understanding had to come from experiencing something similar. I dont think that people who have had to deal with things like this can totally understand. I admire professionals that help people that have dealt with these things.
I remember the first time I found out that I couldn't share that I had PTSD in group chat. It wasn't that I wanted to talk about it, it is that it is my primary diagnosis. I felt like there was really something wrong with me because I couldn't even MENTION those 4 little letters "PTSD" which is the root cause of much of my anxiety, depression, eating disorders, and the list goes on. I can understand not being able to talk about the cause of my PTSD but it really made me feel that there was something terrible about me because I couldn't even mention my diagnosis. I still feel that way but am glad this forum is here.
@Cinnamon please could you let is know what exactly you felt was stopping you from sharing this information because I know many people here struggle with PTSD and we want to be an inclusive environment so if there is any way we could help you feel more comfortable please let us know.
Greetings Miracle,
I asked a listener what things we could NOT talk about in chat. They said, self harm, abuse, suicide, and PTSD. I asked then if I mentioned PTSD since that is my diagnosis if that was okay because I had mentioned it before in group support and people told me I could not even mention PTSD. For me, it would be like someone not being able to admit they have any other mental disorder. I really felt stigmatized. I can TOTALLY understand me not being able to explain my sexual abuse, which might trigger someone, and I always try to be careful not to trigger anyone. However, in all honesty, it is hard to come out and say "I have PTSD" especially when you have never been in the military. I have felt "shunned" a few times in groups and in fact today I just left crying and was in a horrible place.
Thank you for asking. I do appreciate it.
