Narcissistic Abuse

@Jacqueline321

I had a narcissistic mother. I mean she is still alive but I have not talked to her. Every time I try to give the benfit of the doubt so that my kid doesn't lose out I pul back before making any progress because she just switches gears within a matter of hours.

I told her that because it has been so long since we have spoken & I really do not have much to say to her that I would prefer to communicate through letters, emails or text message until things play out & until I can see that I can trust she will not hurt my son like she hurt me. One minute she was OK with it & then 3 hours later (mind you it was at like 2AM) she had written back & I swear that she was a completey different person & was attacking me. That was the last straw I knew she had not changed at all & the chance was up. I feel horrible making that decision for my son but at the same time he doesn't deserve it. He has already had a bunch of people in his life leave him due to either death or just their rudeness I was not going to have her do the same.

It sucks! I am not sure if you or anyone is familiar with the show Gilmore Girls, but boy do I envy that mother daughter relationship. I mean it had its moments of course, like all relationships do, but my god I never had even a moment of blissful memories with my mother & if there were any I do not remember.

I feel like my mother was not meant to be a mother. She had custody of my brother & couldn't handle him (mainly because she never got him the proper treatment he needed & let him have a life & friends & showed him any ounce of love) & he ended up in the custody of DCYF & wen through group homes & such because for some reason that wouldn't let my father take him (which I found completely odd seeing that my father had me....but w.e) so my mother bascially dumped us both. Now she is not only missing out on how great we turned out (NO THANKS TO HER, BUT THANKS TO MY FATHER, my father eventually ended up getting custody of my brother at the age of 16 & it has been a hell of a ride trying to set him straight, he is 26 & still is not 100% responsible adult, he is teetering between being a child to make up for his lost teen years and a grown up for his children), BUT she is also missing out on 3 grandchildfren & 3 step grandchildren & they are all amazing kids.

Sucks growing up thinking your life is going to turn out one way and it turns out another. But I will protect my son at all cost & make sure that he grows up into a respectable young adult & he will know that there is a time and place for everything. A time for fun & laughs & goofing around & a time to be responsible & serious.

I know this might not be what you were looking for when you said narcissistic relationship but just know that you are not alone. xoxo Hugs!

Hey - working through this as well. I'm no longer with him, it's been nearly 5 months since I left. I'm still dealing with a few things caused by the relationship and hope to find some healing here!