Need some help please
Hello everyone, I joined this website yesterday because I'm finally trying to get this off my chest. I'll be so grateful If you care to listen to my story. English isn't my first language so excuse my grammar.
TW: mention of abuse/trauma.
Im the only girl in my family and i have 3 brothers. Before several years I got abused multiple times by my father, that time I was like 11 years old and no one tried to help. I was punched, choked, slapped, and yelled at. my mother was there but she had never defensed me or tried to stop my father.
after I started growing up, my father stopped hitting me because my body became like a woman's body and he didn't see me as a dumb kid anymore, but he kept saying very mean things to me And he still does. Years have passed since what happened, and my father is treating me better now, but I am still stuck in the past suffering from ptsd. I've been going through emotional numbness since 7 months, it's too hard because I can't feel anything anymore and im forced to fake everything so i dont get hated by my friends and family. Im faking my emotions, my thoughts, my actions, almsot everything. I feel disconnected from myself and the life in general, i dont feel alive and i dont know how to deal with everything anymore.
I appreciate your staying this far. I would be happy to hear any similar experiences or advices, thanks for listening! ♡
@sebb228
I'm so sorry you had to through that. You did not deserve any of it and I'm proud of you for being able to talk about it. It takes a lot of courage to do what you did. <3
Also, if you ever do need to chat with someone, me (along with plenty of other listeners) would be glad to hear you out.
I hope you take your time while on your healing journey and are not harsh on yourself. You are doing your absolute best. Take care <3
Thank you so much 💓
I'll keep that in my mind and do my best to heal. Have a nice day🫶
@sebb228
Hi, I am WorkingThroughit2, the Forum Supporter for this community. I am glad you are here and had the courage to tell your truth. I am so sorry that you have experienced the abuse that you have. I understand why you are feeling numb and like things around us seem unreal. This is a natural response of the body and the brain. It is a way that we use during that time in order to feel safe.
I hope that you are not still going through the abuse. You are not alone. I resonate with being gaslighted by parents. I want you to know that we are all here to support you and walk alongside of you on this journey,
You are worthy, You are more than enough, Healing takes time but keep sharing as you are comfortable with.
Hello there! I've seen you multiple times here, good to see you again.
Thanks for understanding, it really makes me feel less lonely. I'm glad that I'm not alone here and I'll do my best to heal well.
Don't worry! I'm not being physically abused anymore, but I just need to heal from it.
Thank you alot! I really appreciate your support. Have a nice day! 💓
@sebb228
You got it any time, make a post, and I will respond. I did a Check-in prompt on Healing at a trot or galloping. Healing takes time and if the brain is not ready to accept change you just have to keep working the brain until it gets to the point of accepting change. Don't give up my friend. I am glad you are safe.❤️😊
@sebb228 Hello. My name is Mochamomma0724. I read your post and wanted to check on you to see how you have been doing. It sounds like it has been pretty rough for you and I wanted to see how you have been feeling.
Hello mocha! I'm Seba. thanks for your caring I really appreciate it💓
I'm getting alot of love and help here, I'm really trying to get better even tho it's hard. I was thinking to tell my parents that i need to see a therapist but i dont feel ready to tell them yet.
I have plans to go to the gym so I can distract myself from my negative thoughts, it will also help me to get healthier.