Not Sure Where all to put this ---includes childhood about, domestic violence, many situational abusese, and lots of DID
All of this, I have never dealt with as I should have. I still after so many years, can not even speak of it, other than to say the very general terms used above in writing and also used the very general terms about to 2 therapists. I have tried to deal with it some, with some brief therapy, decades apart.
I just can not talk about any of it ever and some people seem to be able to talk about their abuse(s). I wish I could figure out why I am unble to talk about any of this. I feel that even being able to vocalize most of it, the parts that are not gone from my memory with the DID gaps in my memory, would maybe be a good start to more healing.
Do any of you have any thoughts or ideas on this for me?
@Amelia2324 I had an experience with a therapist where I revealed the details all at once and I became overwhelmed by it. Looking back I would have gone more slowly and done it a little at a time. I will use the example of a pressure cooker where the steam is let out in small amounts before opening the lid! Also the therapist acknowledged that she didn't go over coping skills with me such as grounding techniques to calm myself down after talking about it. It's good to have some ways to calm yourself down after talking about these things. I saw another therapist years later and she always ended the session with by having me visualizing a favorite place to help me calm down. That was a lot better for me. I hope this helps.
Hi Branch, thanks for sharing what helped you. That must have been incredibly difficult and very awful with how the first therapist handled this with you. ....can not imagine how that must have left you, without any grounding techniuies, or any calming techniques before hand to even utilize. That was nice how your therapist years later used the visualization calming techniques to make sure you were safe and ok enough when you left therapy each time. Glad that through all of this, it has enabled you to be able to speak about your abuse deatils, if and when you choose to. Thanks lots for sharing Branch, hugs.
Honestly I feel humiliated talking about this with a therapist. I feel extremely miserable and like they pity me. I feel like I beg for help.. but they can't do almost anything for me.. and they don't care so much. It's maybe cause I had such experiences as a child.. I am a child of no importance and noone will do something more for me than pity me..
@harryWatermelon
Watermelon, I hope you keep working with your therapist. It does take a lot of hard work in the beginning, to just get the things that have happened to them so that they can know. That is a lot of the hard part, at least for me it is. But, just let them know and say to them that you don't like pity or want any pity. Just let them know this. that would be good. I had to let my therapist know that I hate any complements and now they know and understand that and are careful to not do tht with em, Watermelon, keep trying. they should be able to help youi, if you have a good therapist for you. If not, switch therapists then, You can be helped. Just be ready to put in a lot of hard work yourself also. It is the two of you working together to solve all of this. I wish you the best Watermelon.