Organised Abuse **********Trigger Warning******* Proceed with caution. Take care of You if triggered!!!!
This forum thread is for Survivors of Organised abuse. This is a safe, respectful space for you to share with one another and seek support. Please keep this space, respectful, supportive and inclusive, and refrain from being too graphic to avoid triggering one another. Thanks
"Organised Sexual Abuse", published in 2012, identifies several categories of organised abuse. Many people will already be familiar with these categories of abuse, each of which involves multiple perpetrators and multiple victims.
institutional abuse (childrens institutions)
network abuse (extra-familial networks of offenders)
familial abuse (in nuclear and extended families
ritual abuse (which commonly occurs in familial cases or organised abuse, but has been documented outside it)
@dancingRainbow45
oh gosh, this is honestly so so horrible. hopefully anyone who's gone through organised abuse know that there are always people here who are willing to help and listen! you guys are honestly so strong :)
[ love the thread idea, by the way! it definitely is very comforting ]
@windflowers Thanks Windflowers. I know some people may find this a useful thread but its always difficult for many Survivors to acknowledge these forms of abuse but I hope for those who need this space they can feel safe enough to reach out for support :)
@dancingRainbow45
Great thread, I pray for all of those who have experienced this Trauma
WARNING!!! IF YOU ARE EASILLY TRIGGERED PLEASE DO NOT READ THIS POST!!! FOR REAL!
Ok wow. Hi I'm Raven, a Listener here in the cup. I am also a victim of Organized Sexual Abuse. I was once a sex slave to four men, as well they made me serve many others sexually. How this happened is quite complex, much is still a haze. Basicly due to either my mentality or my physiology or both I was diagnosed as a sex addict in my early teens. I met one man whom I dated whom brought in three of his friends over time. It was a BDSM Daddy thing and I worshipped them. From the very begining they used Hypnotic Subliminal pornography on me. It totally warped my already sexually sik mind and it completely made me a blind slave to them. Pretty clever how they used my sik mind against me. Eventually they sent others to me and I complied. I was blindly lost in my lust addiction and a haze of drugs. Really I just thought nothing of it. There were times I was beaten for my mistakes, and eventually that woke me up a tiny bit. At this time I was begining my transition from male to female and I met a Transman (female to male) in an online transgendered support site. We became friends, and soon we fell in love. I really had no Idea what I was doing, and still was. Then one day this Transman , my online boyfriend, posted me and asked me on a date. I was 900+ miles away lol. He said he was passing through to go see someone and asked me for a date on the way through. I agreed and one day he came. He realized that things were really messed up but wasnt sure what. He decided to take me away from it. So he stayed a month we closed out, and I moved 900 miles away. I dissapeared to them. They had abused me really bad just two months before so they were leaving me alone for a while I guess now but I just was lost. My boyfriend took me home to his family home. A very quiet and peaceful 20 acre farm far from townne. I calmed after a few months, but it wasnt long before I recieved calls, texts, and emails that I didnt answer. One of the emails sent was a link to one of those hypnotic videos. The moment I heard it it had such a powerful effect on me I was terrified. Then imediately tons of memories started flooding my head. Then I saw my email account and contact list. Horrifying numbers of men and I began to remember being with every one. Understandably I lost it. But I am a fierce person in my life and I faced it hard. I went to my therapy, sometimes even twice a week. I worked with fierce and brutal honesty, going everywhere I feared to go. Cant say I am cured by any means, infact I have to live with strict self inflicted rules to keep myself safe, but I found peace with myself. I learned how to deal with my ptsd, and with my anxietys. I live with many harsh emotional consequences but somehow made it through this horror without even catching a cold. That blows my mind as much as combat did. Anyway in my search to find how this happened I found that there is a very particular sect of the fettish community that specializes in hypnotic sisification and slave making. In that group there are over 2,000 members in the state I live in now alone. That Terrifies me but I keep myself isolated from these kinds of people and things now and focus on getting and being better, as well my new life. Nothing can take away what has happened to us, but we can calm it, nurture it, and move past it. In my quests to work more on myself I attended sex addict meetings but for a few reasons I personally didnt belong there. I found 7cups and thought I would try here. I made a bio similar to te one I have now, and instead of me finding someone to talk to many came to me. It overwhealmed me a bit and I deleted my profile. I sat about thinking on my years of helping others and recognized the need for someone like me here. I came back with a new member file and became a listener. I havn't yet finished the last tests in the Listener training but I have completed the training several times and weekly I review them as well just as I have in the other places I have served in similar capacity. Anyway My bio attracts so many to me and I found I can help again. More so I found that helping others helps me in so many ways that serving here is a vital part of My own healing. I'm far from fully healed and far from perfect. I'm just like you, I have my moments too, but I use the same calming, diversion and analisys techniques that are taught here. They work if you work them ;) Anyway were alle a work in progress and I'm here on this journey with you, for alle of us.
Oh... The Happy Ending? I am still with My Hero and Rescuer, we now own the whole farm and I am Betrothed to him. I'm going back to school this fall and will be working to get my Masters in Social Work. Things are alrite ;)
@Raveninthelabrynth Hi Raven thanks for posting here and for sharing your story. It sounds as though you have been through an awful lot in your life, and found yourselves caught up with people who used you for their own means and possible profit. Im sorry that you were used in this way. It was very wrong what happened to you and Im glad that you were given a means to escape this from your partner. What support did you get around your addiction to sex and what support have you received since all this happened to you? I know you mentioned having had therapy, are you still receiving therapy or did you get to a point, where you felt able to cope without this?
It is often a tactic used by those who abuse people in this kind of way to send messages, call, email etc as a means of trying to exert control back over them, as a means to blackmail and make people feel so guilty, manipulated and controlled that some return back to where they escaped from. The more you work on your own healing, the less power these people will have over you, whether in reality, by them sending messages or emotionally, memory wise. You can never erase what happened but what you can do is get to a place where the pain of your past no longer dominates your life now, where you can learn to manage the triggers and flashbacks and keep moving forward, working to become who you want to be, making decisions and choices for yourself and feeling in control of your life, not allowing others to control you.
Its good that you have felt able to offer support to others but always make sure your in a healthy place yourself to do that as taking chats that could potentially be similar to your history could be triggering to you on a bad day, so always try to ensure you look after yourself during that process. Its good that you wish to support others, and its such an admirable thing to do given your experiences but always put yourself first in that process. You have to keep yourself well to help others.
I wish you luck in your social work qualification. Have you started this yet? Am glad that you still have the support of your partner and glad you found 7cups 
@dancingRainbow45
@dancingRainbow45 Thank you for your kind and supportive words. I did get to a point where I didn't really need to go to therapy so often, but I do still go every few months, more as needed. I am just begining with school, and I look forwar to it. :)
@Raveninthelabrynth Hope the course goes really well for you and that you achieve what you have set out to do
@Raveninthelabrynth Thank you for so bravely teling your story! You have done an amazing job of recovering from abuse/trauma...keep up the amazing work
@DrNatalieFeinblatt Thank You :)
@DrNatalieFeinblatt Telling others, as well as writing my woes over and over to myself is a big part of how I get past things. I refuse to empower my woes with fear and avoidance. I tried that, didn't go so well. Everytime I speak on things it's hold on me gets weaker. If my comming forward helps another to do the same, well thats a blessing and part of why I am here. :)
I don't feel up to saying much about it right now; but I was born into a group that was part of an organised sex ring. -_- It happens more often than you might think, and we'll never stop it if we aren't aware it exists!
@sweetMelody95 Hi, I'm here for you if you need or wish to speak with me. :)
@Raveninthelabrynth Thank you!
@sweetMelody95 hey melody thanks for sharing what you did, that takes courage and your right, it happens a lot more than people may realise. The more awareness that is created the better so that those who have suffered at the hands of those involved in organised abuse may when they are able get the support they need and be free of that :)
@dancingRainbow45 I've been on 7 cups as a listener for months and i've just been told about this community page by a lovely leader. I want to thank everyone here for sharing and raising awareness of these types of abuse.
I was sexually abused by my mum's cousin when i was 8 and it carried on till i was 11 years old. Apparently my mum thought it was normal that he used to come in my room and stay in my bed overnight. This happened regularly, from what i can remember most nights.
Then when i was 13, my uncle groomed and raped me till i was 15.
I never told anyone my past until last year. I told my mnagaer and he said i should speak to someone. I didn't even know you could get help for something which seemed so trivial at the time. Fast forward to now, i've had weekly therapy sessions for almost 2 years, reported both perps to the police, the case was dropped unfortunately. I've got depressions, ptsd and apparently bipolar and/or emotional attachment disorder. I'm waiting to see a pscyhotherapist to be diagnosed with the disorder. It's been such a hard time, i self-harm and my self worth is so low at the moment. People talking about it and raising awareness seems to be helping me get through each day.
Thankyou x
@susie17790 I think the part that hits so close to home is the whole "it seems so trivial at the time" thing. Your family downplays it your whole life so there's no surprise you thought it was something people just dealt with. I remember assuming it was something everyone did but no one talked about? Like going to the bathroom. And then when you start therapy and it turns out all these symptoms you have are because of it? Shocking. Crazy how much sense it makes looking back... and how hard it was to see at the time.
We're all here for you when you need to talk 
You're stronger than you know, and you're better than you'll let yourself believe. I'm really happy you found this community and continue getting the support you need
@Hoxenos Ya that took me too a bit, but it was me that made it trivial for myself. Indeed an uncomfortable thought.
@Raveninthelabrynth I think that when you feel powerless, admitting just how bad things really are can be terrifying. Because if it's "Not that bad" then maybe I can get through this. If it actually is that bad... OH NO! Also I feel like maybe it's tied to shame. The more bad it is, the more shame we feel about... "letting" it happen. (Because yeah we totally "let" it happen and weren't manipulated or anything)
@Hoxenos Well I was quite systematically manipulated, but I also allowed it to happen and got caught up in a whirlwind.
@Raveninthelabrynth I guess it's just hard for me to see someone "letting" themselves be manipulated and instead see that as trusting someone (which is a positive thing) and the person taking advantage of that trust.
@Hoxenos Well I have been a diagnosed sex addict with extreme lust addiction since my teens. They knew exactly how to manipulate and control me. Because of that particular sick part of my mind I was deeply lost in it. These men are very skilled too tho. They are or were part of a sub community that pretty much specializes in this. It took alot to wake me up. But I am here now and far better. :)
@susie17790 Hang in there Susie, you're not alone. I'm glad you're getting help. Feel free to post me anytime you need or wish. :)
@Raveninthelabrynth thankyou for your reply. I do feel alone though, my family knows now. Only my youngest brother is openly supporting me. My friend is supportive but he has his own issues so i try not to burden him too much.
@susie17790 My Pleasure Dear. We alle can feel like were alone in this, but we really aren't. Many here have similar issues, and this is a wonderful place for support. :)
@susie17790 Hey Susie, good to see you here, and glad someone recommended this community page to you :) Trauma covers a lot of issues, and we try where possible to reach as many people as possible :)
Im really sorry that you experienced abuse at the hands of relatives. You should have been able to trust and feel safe around family members, not have your trust and vulnerability exploited like they did. Im glad that you have support now. It is hard when your going through something to know what help is out there, but there is help for Survivors of Abuse and Trauma, and we are here too when you need :) Feel free to post in our forums, or attend our support sessions. We have some wonderful members here who are so supportive to one another
@dancingRainbow45 Thankyou, how do i join the support sessions?
@susie17790 Listings for the times of the support sessions is in the welcome to the Trauma Support Community on the Trauma Support home page. All support meetings are held in the support room listed unde the group chat catagory. The support room is locked and invisible until just before a session is to begin. Tomorrows group is a guided support chat, it will begin at 2 pm Eastern U.S. Time. :)
@susie17790 Current schedule looks to be Sundays and Mondays at 2pm, and Wednessdays at 4:30 pm ;)
@Raveninthelabrynth oh okay, i'm in the UK but thankyou anyway
@susie17790 No worries, many in the groups are in the U.K. including those running them. Sundays group is at 2 pm here, about 7pm for you. We would love to see you there if you can make it. :)
@Raveninthelabrynth Oh good, yes i should be able to make it, thankyou for all your help!
@susie17790 My Pleasure Dear Susie. I look forward to seeing you there :)
@susie17790 I see Raven has beat me too it. Glad information got to you about the support sessions, and your more than welcome to come along. All sessions are trauma related but we do focus on different topics each week. So your more than welcome to attend any you feel would benefit you :) We hope to offer more in the future when we have regular and committed group mods and listeners within the trauma team who can run these :)
Please can anyone help I have these memories I just can't deal with when they flair up I'll do anything to make them go it's getting bad I just can't accept them please help if you have any advice or anything I feel so horrible and worried all the time because I get these intrusive thoughts and like I'm just disconnected from myself and I can't stop thinking that I'm not safe even though I've moved away and that I'll never feel safe :( my life just feels so chaotic all the time
@QueenTangerine Hi Queen, I'm sorry you're going through a rough time. (((Huge Hugs)))
First and most important if you haven't already, is to seek a Therapist you feel comfortable with. We have several Therapists here online if you would like to try one.
Well we can't stop Automatic Thoughts from popping in, we can for now divert our thoughts to better and more productive ones untill you can work through your stuff with a qualified Therapist. In the mean time I would like to share a grounding technique to help you place and keep yourself in a better state.
Let us begin with whats called Diaphragmatic Breathing. This is deep breathing from your belly, allowing your belly to expand and contract with each breath. This can be done anywhere and in any bodily position, Sitting, Standing, Laying, etc.Try this with me now nice and slow deep breaths. In through nose (if comfortable), out through mouth. Feel your belly rise and fall with each breath. Think only on your belly rising and fallng. Continue with this, breathing in and out nice and slow. Now whilst you continue this I would like you to think on something pleasent you hold dear. A loved one, a wonderful memory, Willy Wonka, anything you like that sets you free. Continue to breathe and replace those thoughts that pop in with wonderful ones.Continue till you feel better.
Try this to help you manage your emotions anytime/anywhere you feel the need. I even use this preemptively before I do something I think I might find stressful, works great. Let us know if you need help finding a Therapist and we will give you a link. If you need to chat privately to a Listener please feel free to post me, seek a Listener from the Trauma Support Staff, Or browse Listeners list, we're all here to help.
Be well Queen
Raven
@QueenTangerine hey, i don't know if you have any therapy but it really helped me, by writing the memories and flashbacks down you can process how they make you feel, what you remember happening, what you smell, what you felt back then etc and this helps you to control them a little more. i haven't had any since writing and hacing therapy for the last almost 2 years. If you ever want anyone to talk to i am here
