PTSD after domestic violence

Domestic violence is a challenge to deal with and recover from because there’s usually an emotional attachment that was formed. It leaves a person questioning. Maybe look into some of Beene Brown’s work. She talked a lot about shame and vulnerability. She discusses how you can’t have the light with out the dark. The other thing that may work is being with yourself and figuring out what you need, usually our bodies know. Another book to look into is the body keeps the score.

hope this helps. Be well.

Hi @resourcefulWater2350,

First, I wanted to say you did NOTHING wrong. Nobody deserves to be abused, never. Also, why did he abuse? It is because abusers like to be in power and have control over people. Here's a link with more info on that: Why People Abuse Abuse is never okay. Learn why it continues.

Also, if you have not already, I recommend speaking to the domestic hotline, you can either call, text, or instant message them on their website[I used to instant message them...]: National Domestic Violence Hotline

They'll provide you with plenty of resources, such as group sessions for DV victims, free therapy, housing help, utility & rental assistance, etc.

I also wanted to say, I am a survivor of domestic abuse myself...I called the cops on my abusive alcoholic ex[who's also the father of my son]. I felt very attached to him for the longest time. He was my first everything...and we were in a relationship for about 3-4yrs... Ex's family was angry with me at first[domestic abuse runs in their family as well...], they wanted to put partial blame on me as well since it's my "fault" for not putting up with his alcoholic tendencies... Even though my ex almost strangled me to death and used to hit me a lot, stole my things, and broke doors down...

My son was taken away from me temporarily, because I tried to make it work with ex, I should've just left right then and there, and my son would've already been back home... Luckily, son will be home soon, and I've learnt a lot from this experience.

I know better now, that ex was no good for me. I feel like the weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I just generally feel...better. I've been separated from him for 4 months ...and already found someone else, that I'm talking to casually. This person is my brothers' bestfriend. Both of my brother's introduced me to him to get away from ex and to go have fun...

I get hit on by other men/women too--- I'm only saying this because there's plenty of fish in the sea! There are many people who will treat you MUCH better than your abusive ex did. You can find a normal, and amazing person to spend time with who will treat you as an equal, with plenty love and affection, because you deserve it @resourcefulWater2350.

I completely understand too...being in love with an abusive ex. I grieved for a while, of what we could've been, but ... After getting evicted and my ex never helping with the bills and living AWAY from him, I started to heal. I looked at my old journals and realized a pattern of me being miserable around ex and ex's family, that I knew I could never go back. Don't feel bad for having feelings, it's human nature. It just takes a while for feelings and emotions to process some times.

As for the PTSD part...I already had PTSD from my abusive parents in childhood...My ex only made it worse. I flinch if anything gets near my face...My mother used to hit me as a child. I haven't fully processed this PTSD, and I'm on a wait-list for therapy [long story...]. So, I come here to find others to relate to or to seek help for the time being, until I can get into therapy... CPS/DCS is trying to help me get in for free. They've actually been really helpful lately. They told me I'm doing a good job as a mother, and advised me to go back to school to finish my studies in a specific STEM field that I never completed...

Anyways, sorry for the rambling!

I just want to let you know you're not alone, your feelings are normal, and it's not your fault for the abuse! It never was your fault, it's the abuser's fault.

I wish you the best my friend! Please take care.

@resourcefulWater2350

I m sorry to hear that you went through that, I can understand it must have been really hard and know your feelings are valid! Also you are not alone in this we are here for you to support you through out, hang in there!

What you’ve been through isn’t easy but your resilience and survival proves that you are much stronger than what you are giving yourself credit for. These feelings of hopelessness may linger from time to time but when those times comes, remember that warrior in you that kept fighting despite the hurt and pain. The bravery it took to call for help and move forward from such a traumatic experience. Remember that same person is within you and that happiness you once felt is also within you. Don’t let go of the fighter within, better days are to come, you will conquer this.

@resourcefulWater2350

I first want to say I'm so deeply sorry that you had to go through something that you did not deserve to go through! Nobody should ever have to go through something like that but I also want to say you should be so proud of yourself for finding the strength to reach out for help! I know how hard it is to find the strength to call for help so I really hope you're proud of yourself for that! I also want to let you know you did NOTHING wrong and it was not your fault I know it may take some time to realize that but I promise you it's not your fault, I also know you may be wondering if you will ever be happy again well I want you to know healing takes time and healing isn't a straight line it's more like a roller coaster but I promise you you will find Hope I believe in you and I wish you the best of luck! And hey You are not alone I'm also a Survivor myself. Take care 🥰

I remember telling someone I was abused and when they asked me how I couldn't even name one event. I had been traumatized and severely abused for YEARS without any recollection. I finally recorded our interactions and upon replaying them it solidified what happened to me. I always questioned, and still do, whether it was me or not because recollection of events is hard. I now understand I have disossociative amnesia. The good thing is I am able to recall events upon reading others'. Unfortunately it came crashing down and I've been replaying traumatic events so much so during this pandemic and also realized I have cptsd. I've had nightmares till my 30s and have had depression. I didn't know it was from all the trauma. Education has helped me know it wasn't something I was born with. I was severely abused, traumatized and neglected my whole life. Has anyone tried delta8 to cope with anxiety? I have read here https://delta8questions.com/does-delta-8-help-with-anxiety/ it can be helpful.