Parental abuse

I’m so sorry that that has happened. You seem like a very good, genuine, trying person. I’m sorry you had to put up with traumatizing, abusive parents and a family who doesn’t understand you. I can’t relate unfortunately. I just want to say that I empathize as much as I can, and it’s so cool how you have been able to reach out to this community. I am here for you, and I’m sure lots of others here are too. I also love how you have been able to use religion to cope.

@HeartofAloha...hi I'm in my 50s too and can so relate to your story. I'm so sorry this happened to you. I had similar experience. Very abusive childhood. I am in therapy and it helps and I thank God I'm still alive.( I was suicidall at one point). During therapy I learned that despite my parents constantly guilting me and telling me I owe them ....I don't owe anyone anything. I am only responsible for my own happiness...that statement helped free me from guilt. Despite what I was told my entire life ..I am a good person. So are you! Glad your here this is a great place to find support. 💜ABB

Yes. I’m 50 and my father was a viet nam vet alcoholic. A very mean one. Still is at 77. My mother left us with him because she couldn’t take it, and so she got a job and left us alone at night with him. So she is screwed up from his abuse. Both of them hate each other and the world. Oh yeah and me and my son. (He’s autistic). My mom is a martyr and goes for the pity party and guilt trips. My dad rages and I’m still scared to death of him. They are both emotionally unavailable. You CANNOT change them. you cannot make them “get it”. They do not see or admit their own shortcomings, only those of their kids. It makes me cry I miss them so much, wanted them to be comforting, supportive, kind. But they will never be those things. Not with their own children. My mother is a great actress with her friends. Manipulative. But me and my brothers know the insanity she is. I cannot go to their house anymore. And they live 2 miles from me. Of course they refuse to reach out or come over, because that’s MY job. My dad probably never remembers his rages or things he says. I feel bad for them. But I feel horrible for my son who is afraid of their anger and has no contact with his father. But we keep going, me and my son. This is the thing that has tore me up inside the most.

Hi, I saw your post and I just want to give you a hug and tell you that I can relate in many ways to your story. The pain that is felt from abuse of a parent never goes away. It affects the way you live your life and raise your own family. Living in a constant state of terror and fear is no way for a child to grow up. I understand that people will encourage you to reach out so that you won’t have regrets later. That is a decision only you can make. Only you know what you are seeking from that meeting and you will have to deal with the consequences of how it all ends up. In my personal story I left my abusive house and did not have a relationship with my father for sometime. He entered a rehabilitation program and was “doing better” and I was encouraged to reach out and reconnect but it was not something I was ready to do. Not until he became extremely ill did I reach out and he died 4 days later. So, I have regrets and wish we had reconnected before he passed, but who knows which way it would have gone?