The holidays and cptsd.

I honestly thought I was doing better, I was being triggered less but lately with the holidays here I feel like there are triggers around every corner. This was my first Thanksgiving, will be my first Christmas and new years since I cut my family off. I don't want to damper my kids and husband Christmas. I feel like it's my fault I have all this trauma. I also know this is just the start, I just got free, I just found out alittle under a year ago that I had cptsd, I just started healing myself. Even if my parents and brothers see it as "the devils work," and "keeping my kids from them".

I want to enjoy my first holiday's with freedom without feeling cornered every turn by memories, triggers, and guilt.

I'm sorry for the rant I just needed to get this out to someone, anyone, because it's eating me up inside.