Trapped in the abuse. Chained to the memory.
Sometimes its very hard. I just outted my abuser on social media. In order to let the family who didn't already know, know. It needed to happen. And typing is the only way I get my thoughts out. As I found out he's dying. I want to scream my story to the top of the world. I feel like I'm not getting responses like I thought. People aren't surprised that he he did what he did for 3.5 years... My mom will be sad and apologize for a day or two then its like nothing happened. Not that it is at all her fault. But I just do not understand. My partner is the only supportive one and she doesn't understand the effects it has on me.. She's trying she really is. I couldn't be here if it wasn't for her. I've hit some really low lows lately. My biological father is the abuser... My mind is fucked up. every since I told certain people 3 years ago... Nightmares. Flash backs. I want my story out. But I don't at the same time.
I need to fear from other people about it. I don't know now to process it.
@justme321
Wow that is very brave of you and im in awe of your courage. I can relate to wanting to shout it from the rooftops but fear held me back.
Im sorry you dont feel like your getting the support you need and it is so hard qhen others dont understand what its like but then again part of me wishes that less inderstood as really the only way to truly understand is to have to go through it.
I wish you the very best on your healing journey and hope things get better for you soon.
@indigoBeing9907
Exactly! I don't want anyone to truly understand. Because that means they've lived it.. But I wish I could help her understand why I'm the way I am. Cause I know it's frustrating for her.
@justme321
I agree that sometimes its very hard..... when others don't seem to understand, when we don't get the responses we hoped for, when others simply don't know how to help us. And what you're going through is tough. You've been courageous in breaking the silence but sounds like the reponse from others has been difficult for you, and this happens. Have you thought about seeing a therapist.. someone who could support you in processing and coping with it.Its good that your partner encouraged to be here, and you can keep talking with us. We are here in support.
I understand my father sexually abused me also . I struggled with telling my story and I was so angry as embarrassed and just confused for a very long time. Thankfully I did tell about the abuse and started to get help and I
