What should I do with my inner child?
I feel the very main problem that doesn't let me move forward in life is the fact that my inner child is still hurting. My mother never loved me and didn't want me, so my trauma started before being born. The most horrible feeling I have is the need to have parents take care of me, love me and have proof that I can trust them. That can't happen with my biological parents anymore. I also don't have friends that could replace my parents. I only have me. How can I be a parent for my inner child? Will that help me move forward in life?
@inventiveWest3210
You should try to love and take care of yourself like you would if you were a close friend or family member. I hope your inner child will become loved and cherished.
No one can replace your parents. That in itself is hard to take. Even when they abuse us & we hate them, we still love them. It's very hard to understand & typically is the reason we end up in abusive relationships-it's "normal", "what we deserve", or simply"comfortable/what we know". [edited by @NoneTheWiser on 10/19/20 for invalidating thoughts and feelings.(1, 2)]
@inventiveWest3210
Hiya, I'm Skye or some call me fire, I go by both. Nice to meet you.
I think all you can do is love yourself and your inner child the way you deserve to be loved .
Hang tough stay pawsome ur friend 🔥
@inventiveWest3210
Hello my dear:
Totally resonate with you and am dealing with one and the same issue. I am ScarletPear1945. I go to EMDR Therapy weekly and have been taking many classes in this Inner child integration. I was removed from my birth moms' home at 2 or 3 years old and had no knowledge of her at all. I was adopted by age 4 and sexually abused by my new day for many years. I never had a childhood, never allowed to feel my emotions nor express them so I grew up numb mentally unattached to what I felt emotionally dead. So now as the adult, I have suppressed everything to keep myself safe but also dysfunctional in all so many areas of my life that I am empty and detached from who I am. I get the empty feeling that void of not ever having that safe attaching person in your life
Yes, it must begin with healing that little girl inside, who never felt love or safe. It is going to take hard and consistent practice to first get where you can sit down and make a timeline to see WHAT WENT WRONG, Then BY Whom, Try to remember what you might have felt at that time. Journal all this as a foundation that is going to help you to reach the inner child who is hurt and hiding and untrusting of even you at this point. Then you must seek her out with asking for her forgiveness that you were unable to protect her show her the kind of love that your desirer, but it must be real encouraged the child to come and talk to you and tell you their story. A trust bond between the two of you must take place first. You have got to keep trying to get them to reveal them self to you. Most of all you must be able to forgive yourself and the ones that neglected you. So that you can raise your awakening vibes to allow for healing and joining of the two of you.
It is going to take challenging work, but it can be done. It would be an immense help if you can find a therapist that deals with Inner Child integration. This is just small insight, I hope this helps
Thanks for that advice @scarletPear1945 ❤ I've been having flashback on my childhood too about emotional neglect to the point that I convinced myself before that maybe I wasn't my mom's real child. It's just so hard living with her now that she's getting old and like she wants me to give back something (emotional love) that I think I never received. I've been emotionally numb around her. She nags a lot. It has been my defense mechanism to ignore her words whenever she talks negatively about me. I thought I've been doing well in blocking her words but she can still find words to hurt me that I end up having a breakdown. I guess my cup was full. After that incident, these flashback from childhood - how she treated me and all the words she had said that hurt me keeps coming back that I end up in rumination and depression. I don't like conflicts. So even tho I know she's wrong, I have never told her my side cos if I started to open my mouth I'd end up shouting at her especially with her tone. And I don't want to make a bigger fire. I don't know how to deal with her so I just shut up and keep everything to myself and cry. And now with all these emotions repressed, my anxieties developed cos I've been having hard time to breathe sometimes, my chest feels heavy and I've been like always alert that my mom would nag again (and my dad too always raises his voice). I had a checkup before cos I thought I was having a heart attack but all my lab tests were found normal. The doctor advised me to see a psychologist for a therapy about my anxiety but my mom thought that's unnecessary expense and dad said we can just google everything and everything is on youtube now. I've been trying to help myself to get out of depression. I started to make routines - drinks a lot of water, avoid caffeine, I've been doing meditation, journaling and exercise. But then I've been experiencing some physical sensations - tingling sensations on chest, left arm, sore muscles on chest near shoulder, my neck feel tensed and tightness on throat. These sensations didn't happened in just one day. It has been on and off and mix of some of those symptoms. I researched and found out that anxiety symptoms may keep coming back and I just have to train my thoughts not to panic about this (cos I've had several anxiety attacks before). I think I'm doing a progress because of meditation. My thoughts have been calm. I always try to be in the present whenever I think of negative thoughts. But I just don't know what to do with all these negative flashbacks that keep coming back that sometimes I find myslef cursing those people involved and I feel so mad. Thank you for reading this.
