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can someone relate?

i wonder if someone relate to me :(

so hi i'm noah and i have discovered that i have cptsd my dad is a awfully alcholist he drinks yells and used to phycial abuses me right now he only does it verbal my mom is done with his behavour too but....my mom doesn't see this as abuse can someone relate?

2
User Profile: AsherTree
AsherTree June 29th

@firefairypower433

My mom use to get my dad to punish me but she secretly hated how harsh he was. 

Some mothers are scared to get involved with their husband discipline methods..🌲

User Profile: mytwistedsoul
mytwistedsoul June 29th

@firefairypower433 I think a lot of adult children with CPTSD feel alone when a non abusive parent minimizes the trauma. Her denial could be a survival mechanism, but it leaves you without validation. A lot of parents in this position frequently default to denial for a few reasons. If she admits that his yelling and physical abuse was wrong, it forces her to confront her failure to protect you. Sometimes the guilt of that is too heavy for them to bear, so they choose to pretend it never happened. 


Families with an alcoholic parent sometimes have an unspoken rule to keep silent. The non alcoholic parent might minimize the abuse to keep some kind of peace to survive their own circumstances. 

When people minimize what you went through it leaves you feeling isolated, doubting your own memory and we often end up blaming ourselves. 

Unfortunately, you can't force her to see things for what they really are (abuse) but you can protect your peace. You can set strict boundaries for your mental health. Maybe by limiting the amount of time you talk to her, or taking breaks from the family altogether?