i don’t know what to do
i feel like ive become involuntary mute. i physically cant talk to people and i’m struggling so much typing things trying to think of the next word. i can’t hold normal conversations no matter how hard i try. i simply just nod or fake laugh or say something like “yeah” “bet” “totally” and then i feel so so sad because i wish i knew what else to say like a normal person. i used to have a personality and put thought into my words. now i don’t, not because i don’t want to, but because i physically cant. i want to be a person again, i want to have friends and talk to someone and relate to people and laugh with people. i’m begging the universe. i was in an abusive relationship for two years that destroyed me and left me nothing but an empty shell. i’m practically begging for help here. i haven’t been able to tell anyone about it. i’m so traumatized and i just want to be okay
Ur gonna be ok baby. Its hard and ik it. Its not something that u can just do an Abracadabra and it will vanish away. Its gonna be hard i aint gonna lie to u. The momories will haunt u for a lot of time but u have to find that small things in life that will bring u back to ur feet and u will start breathing again. Some people are waisting oxygen on earth but these people is not u. Its the bad people who broke u. Who broke all of us. Friends come and go. U have to forget about the people who u thought they were ur friends and left u when u needed them and try to think wich of them actually deserve to be in ur life. And count them on ur one hand. Ur wounds will become scars,even if they get healed u will remember them. So u have to find a way to get control of that memories and remember them only when U want to remember them not them controling u and just pop in ur mind anytime they want and ruin ur mood. If u wanna talk i am here<333
I've been here before. My first abuser made me talk a certain way. I ended up talking like a drunk Yoda when I was finally able to escape (it is supposed to be funny, it's okay). And people around me-their patience was very short with me. So I didn't feel like I could go to anyone. I still can't really connect with anyone. But I learned I love to talk and thst I'm not afraid completely to say what's on my mind. And it's freeing, even though I still feel a bit lonely. It's like a light in the darkness, you know? And I'm sure one day you'll find something like that too. I'm here too!
