After the Silence
"Welcome to After Silence, an online support group, message board, and chat room for rape, sexual assault, and sexual abuse survivors. You are not alone, you are not broken, and you can heal. After Silence is designed to help victims become survivors, and communicate in the recovery of sexual violence. Our mission is to support, empower, validate, and educate survivors, as well as their families and supporters. The core of our organization is a support group, message board, and chat room where victims and survivors come together online in a mutually supportive and safe environment. Surviving rape, sexual abuse, sexual assault, incest, and molestation may cause different feelings to emerge. During the healing process many survivors of sexual violence undergo a dramatic reality shift, and see life and themselves drastically different than before. Feelings of anger, fear, shock, denial, and confusion are normal. Often pain doesn't simply go away, it has to find a safe outlet. We believe that breaking the silence is the first step toward recovery and it is our mission to provide a safe, loving, and thought-provoking online support group for each rape and sexual abuse survivor to speak out, ask for help, and give help in return. To realize (sometimes for the first time!) that you are not alone can make all the difference. Learn more about our support forums for healing and recovery.
If you have been a victim of rape, date rape, sexual abuse, incest, sexual assault, marital rape, childhood sexual abuse, or molestation please know that you did nothing wrong and you are not to blame. In our online support group and forums you can share your story, feelings, fears, doubts, and receive support from fellow survivors who are experiencing similar emotions. Here you may speak freely without identifying yourself. At times the path to healing may seem an arduous and somewhat frightening one, but you don't have to go through it alone. By joining After Silence you become part of a community that understands your struggles. We are here to support, listen, and heal together."
Glad to. 
Great information and a wonderfully written post, thank you for sharing.
I was raped. Wow it feels weird to write it. It happened 7 months ago and I don't know how to deal with it or move on.
is it sexual abuse if i was touched inappropriately as a child? this is the first time ive ever mentioned that outside of my own thoughts so this is freaking me out..
yes it is.
oh ok.. i never really knew the guide lines to what to call it... i always called it inappropriate touching... sounded a little less horrifying..
Thank you. All those years some peoplealways said to themselveswhy me? and it always go down into a very bumpy road always. It hurts, it wrecks people, it makes a persons being shattered. Moving on from it is never that easy and I deeply thank you for opening such a very nice welcoming topic about it because not all people can be truly heard in person, they deeplyneed someoneto listen to them and to support them. And knowing things such as an opportunity to recover is a shed of light a midst the darkness they have been through. Again thank you for a little shed of hope..
Glad to do what I can. This is a very important topic and, unfortunately, common among those living with mental illness.
I was raped for two and a half years by my step dad and my mind keeps changing things up and I'm really confused
Our memory is not always reliable.
I find that, too. Espeically after I had ECT (electroconvulsive treatment, or shock therapy) for depression, people were hoping that I was going to emerge from it with no tons of memories about that man raping me. But I still do, they aren't going away, they are part of who I am, now. People like my parents may not like it, but those events shaped me. Now I've jjust got to decided whether or not they shape me for the good or for the bad.
Hello there. Any oneout there dealing with the social isolation after experiencing rape ? I know I've struggled with my ptsd, social anxiety, and panic attacks. My way of dealing with this was immersing myself in my work, but now I have no job and the depression is overtaking me.
I was molested/raped (this event was entirely blocked from my memory until several years later, so I have lost some of the details) by an older boy in my neighborhood when I was 8 years old, and again three times over the course of a year with increasingly invasive action by a family "friend". Silence only empowers these monstrosities. Let's talk about it! It has deeply impacted the way I navigate relationships in general, and affection specifically.
Ive never shared this growing up.
I was an 8 yearold boy when I remember it starting.I was raped for a few years by a family member. It caused a lot of issues for me.
The short version is that I began to know what I was supposed to do to make him happy and if I did, things were a lot more easy to "take". He "lent' me to a neighboureventually as well. By that time, I almost enjoyed it because I felt wanted and cared for in some twisted way. I feel as though this trauma molded me into thinking a certain way.
I grew up always attracted to women in all ways. I felt awkward until my early 20's making love though. But in my teen years I began to fantasize about men. Older men. I enjoyed being sexually used. I hated men but wanted them. I still live with this urge everyday. I actually am attracted to women and transgender people. I think they are all beautiful. I think mensorgans are amazing in their own way too. But I don't actually like men. I just crave them. I am lost in my sexuality. I've been having nightmares and flashbacks to when I was younger than age 8. I have no memories of a younger age except these flashbacks.there was also a 3rd man when I was about 10 but I think you get the picture.
Sometimes I act on my urges but then feel ashamed and disgusted yet excited again. There is no real logic in my own mind.I have never done well with making male friends. There are people who like me as a friend...a lot of people. But they dont know how much I have to fake small talk and all that stuff. I have major social anxiety but my "friends" would never see it or even believe it if I told them. I'm in pain every single pain from a bunch of permanent back and joint issues. The nightmares are worse than ever.
I was married once, but her kinks disturbed my childhood memories.Nobody wants to date a broken man who struggles to go out and enjoy a life of pain.
So this is my attempt at having at least some little part of my life improve before I finally grab one of my dark thoughts.
thanks for letting me share.
"So this is my attempt at having at least some little part of my life improve before I finally grab one of my dark thoughts." The above sentence is the most beautiful thing I've read in all of literature. I am so proud of you for getting this out of your gut on a public forum. Thank you for inviting me in. Please feel free to PM me anytime. I am heartbroken and grateful for having read your story. Stay ever vigilant in your wellness. ♡
Remember that nobody has the right to make you decisions except you. Stay strong
May I applaud your bravery and give you bigfatwarmhuuuggg?
Thank you. I don't feel brave...I feel desperate. It's because of the warmth of you and others here that I am able to share now. I am forever grateful regardless of my outcome.
Hug gratefully accepted and returned.
