Big sister ***Trigger Warning***

Hi people, im 18 freshmen in college woohoo!

Okay i'll get started.

When I was little my mom always told me if anyone evn my father tried to touch me or hurt me in any kind of way to tell her so that she can "kill'em." I guess she wasn't expecting that moment to ever come...because when I did she did nothing, she thought I was joking.

I'm the youngest of 5. I have two bros and two sister. I believe I was about 4-6 years old when it began. My eldest sister was the rebel/pretty one and my middle was the protective/smart ass.My big sister, she was all about boys and stuff, she was in junior high of course. She was always quite mean and agressive (like any other).She was definatley cray cray. She would ditch school,have lots of bfs, and apperently she was also abused. Anyways, I don't know when it started,but I remeber we would take showers together and that when she would molest me.She also wanted me to touch her too,I did.

At first, I didn't know what to do...I didn't understand. but, what i did know is that I would get aroused I was at that age where yo find your body and you just want to touch it. So, this happend for awhile I think. But one day we were in my bros room and she began to touch me again but this time she was trying penetrate me,but Iwhimpered and she stopped and made me smell her fingers. Then she did it again, but at that very moment my other sister walked in and saw what was going on. She pulled me off the bed and told me to go to the kitchen. Everyone was there except my dad. Eventually my sisters came out of the room and sat down they looked angry. The all of a sudden my middle sister started to yell at my big sister and my mom came in and was like "wtf is going on??" My middle sister told my mom and I admitted it too.But she brushed it off... I now know that she probably though were were lying just to get my sister in trouble.

Till this very day I haven't told anyone(except you all).Idk...I love my family and neither one ofthem has mentioned that incident. I wonder if they even remember,I have managed to retaliate what had happend to me till now. I just want to be happy. I forgive my sister for what she did. I just don't know where to go from here.