Blaming myself

I know the feeling and I'm sorry you are feeling this way. I still occasionally blame myself and I think it's normal to do that. Not saying you should do it but your feelings are valid. What happened is not your fault. In my experience it always feels easier to blame myself and say it wasn't that bad and that I'm making it look worse than it was. But whatever happened to you happened, it was traumatic for you. It is valid. It doesn't matter what the other person's intention was. You are allowed to feel abused. That was something that was the hardest for me honestly. That how I feel about it is valid. I hope I'm making sense and I'm not just saying a bunch of nonsense. I do know from the bottom of my heart that it will get better down the road. It's hard I know. I'm still there myself. Sending loads of love and strength to you.

Dear intellectual, I'm so sorry your feeling this way. I understand it though. I also blame my self for my assault even though my therapist says it wasn't because I was groomed. Anyway just wanted to say your not alone I feel your pain and you didn't do anything wrong. It's all on the person who did this to you...you are an innocent. Praying for peace for us both ..ABB💜

@intellectualLychee892 *TW* I totally understand where you're coming from. Having suffered 5 years of abuse as a child, I have huge struggles in not blaming myself, so angry at not having shouted out louder, being little Mr Compliant and letting my abuser get away with it. Even later in life when I was abused again, not fighting back, resisting, it makes me very upset just thinking about it. However, I do know that as a child I simply wasn't equipped to fight or resist an adult, particularly in my case, someone in authority. Furthermore, I was being taken advantage of, I didn't ask for it, and the guilt and blame lay with my abusers. You're not alone in feeling this way, and I'd love to tell you that it gets better, and to a certain degree it does. The thoughts may persist but you will learn to handle them so you don't become as upset. Sending you my best wishes. Grits

I totally blame myself for everything that had happened. Blaming myself had become a survival tactic: If I blame myself, maybe I can be in control and make sure it doesn't happen next time. It is so hard to accept it was out of my control, not my fault and all I can do is heal myself and keep those parts of my self safe that need protection.

I used to blame myself consciously or unconsciously - almost all my life. But then I reached a point where I started realizing that it’s not my shame to carry. It’s not my shame and it’s not my fault. Not saying it’s easy to avoid self-blame but it’s possible.