Boyfriend raped while drunk
My boyfriend of 7 months told me a few months ago that when he was in college he got drunk at a party and got raped by a girl. He told me at the time he was in an open relationship with a girl for almost 6 months, his longest time with someone else, though they didn't say I love you to each other and didn't have the title nor discuss monogamy even thought he didn't sleep with anyone else.
My boyfriend told me he stopped seeing her after he got raped just like that, and didn't want to have casual sex with anyone anymore. A few months after that, he slept with a prostitute. This was all before he met me.
He hasnt told anyone he had been raped other than me, and he wasn't crying when he told me but I was supportive and loving towards him. He has has some therapy since but hasn't mentioned this or spoken about it with anyone other than me. I'm by sure if he is over what happened, if that made him pay for sex, or if he needs to seek help even if it happened 3 and a half years ago. I feel like my boyfriend gets jealous very easily and perhaps this being his first real relationship is the reason. The only other time he has paid for sex was a few years before the second time when he was with some friends and they visited a massage parlour and he thought he would just get a happy ending. His sexual history after that was meaningless flings. Should I be concerned about having sex with him, considering his lack of attachment and abuse
@Sas4rhcp
Yes, any concerns you might have would be completely valid. You should be sure that sex means the same thing to the both of you, and that you are both on the same page. If, in your mind, sex is an important expression of who you are and of your affection for your partner, and it is a way to intimately bond to each other, then you'd want to be sure that your boyfriend feels the same way. Otherwise, you risk getting hurt in a relationship with someone who does not value sex as you do. You might end up feeling used, lonely, or unsatisfied as you use your body to emotionally connect with this other person, and he is simply looking for physical satisfaction. It might be best to wait in your relationship and grow together in other ways, until you are certain that your boyfriend can be trusted with that level of vulnerability. The previous poster is incorrect in stating that all men need sex. Men want sex, but they don't need it. They won't die without it. You and your body should never be a means to an end.