Chains

Poems based on a true story

Written by Aspen

(Written a while back, decided to edit and post it)

I have a lot of these written, either in poem or story form, and every once in a while I'll post one. Not to seek attention, but to spread awareness.

You never know the battles someone are fighting

//TW: mentions of *** and s3xu@l assault//

...why did you leave?

was it by choice?

were you forced?

was it by the chains of doubt or the chains of the prison?

was I not good enough?

did you love me?

you call me every week and say that you do

but... is it the right kind of love?

that's the reason you're in there

that's the reason you're in a cell

because you chose the wrong love

on the wrong person

and now

10 years later

you're going to come out

and you're going to say you've changed

and you're going to pretend nothing happened

that you're the perfect father in my life

and nobody can change that

but I've moved on

i have a new father

and it's not you

but will that hurt you?

that i replaced you?

that i took your role as a father and gave it to someone else

because you werent there?

...are you going to hurt me

like you hurt her?

are you going to love me

like you loved her?

are you going to violate me

like you violated her?

you told my 10 year old self

that you would come pick me up

and take me away

to live with you and be with you

just you and me

but i didnt know

what you had done

i didnt know

who you had hurt

and now im scared

youre going to keep your promise

and pick me up from my life

and take me away

just like the words said

just like the dreams predicted

...when i walk down that aisle

to the love of my life

i will have to choose

who holds my arm

to give me away

...but i cant choose

between the one who made me

and the one who raised me

between the one who was there

and the one that couldnt be there

i know youre trying

but how can i ignore

that horrid past

you tried to hide from me

...and now a new fear has come

that year that mom wasnt there

because she was stuck at the military base

unable to take leave

and you refused to return me

...when you made her miss my first steps

and my first birthday

i sometimes wonder

with a fear in my chest

...what did you do to me?

did you love me like a daughter?

or did you see me as a tool

that you could use to your liking

did you look at my body

and feel the same urge

you felt several years later

that got you thrown in a cell

...it scares me

because nobody knows

but you

yet i know you wont tell

because you blame everyone

but yourself

you blamed the girl

for her behavior

you blamed her mother

for her choice of clothes

you blamed the devil

for making you

but not once

did you think

'i did this'

...

in the future

when you regain your freedom

will you finally accept

your mistakes

and choose to change

so you can finally live the life

you always wanted

...

or will you make the same mistake

and go back behind bars

with no chance of getting out

and throw away the life

I wish you were in