Challenging times
I went through a tough time with coping with this trauma. I was sexually assualted by someone younger about 4 years ago. At the time I did tell the police but they thought that I made it up. I still remember the time and place in where it happened. When I talk about it it makes want to cry and hide. Some people in my family were understanding about it and some were not because they would pressure me into fastening my healing process. I admit it wasn't helpful, my sister exposed me to her boyfriend about my assault and after that I felt ashamed and disgusted with myself. It was as though if the people were told about my assault they would bring it up to make me feel bad, tease me, look at me different, or even be disgusted by me like they didnt want to be around me anymore. I'm still trying to move on with my life as if it never happened. At times it is hard to leave the house because of the fear of it happening again.
@sensitiveChestnut4695
First of all, I would like to commend you on your courage in sharing your story, as many are unable to give voice to their own.
I'm so sorry your sister did that to you, it is not her story to tell. Unfortunately, the legal system fails many survivors of sexual assault and abuse...it is a repeating refrain from survivors and often causes many to not even report.
It breaks my heart to hear your struggles in dealing with people when they are made aware of what you have gone through. No one should ever be made to feel that way. In some cases, it is simply that an individual has no idea what to do or say when that knowledge is presented, they may feel they are trying to be comforting or understanding...but don't realize the impact of their words and actions.
Often, the emotions we feel about guilt and shame are left over from things said by the one who assaulted us. They say these things in hope that it will keep us from reporting.
Your feelings are very understandable and very valid. Please know that you are not alone...there are many of us here who share similar stories and are working on our healing journeys as well. If you're ever interested in joining some of us, we have an SA Trauma support room that meets every Tuesday at 4pm EDT in the Trauma Room.
I wish you well on your healing journey, and if you would like to chat 1on1, please don't hesitate to reach out.
💫💫💞💫💫