Coercion or just plan regret?

***TRIGGER WARNING***

I was in a relationship(not exactly dating- but somewhat in between) and I was very clear with him and told him i’m not the type who sends “pictures” and he said he understood. Ive also mentioned to him that ive experienced SA before and how i use/used to use hypersexuality as a defense so the man Im with is happy with me. However, he asked me to send regardless of me telling him this and I think he knew i would because i was extremely mentally vunerable and mentally unstable during the time we were together and he was aware of this. Infact, prior to getting involved with me i told him im not mentally prepared for anything romantic due to prior experiences but he sort of manipulated me to be in a relationship with him(but thats a different story- however it shows what he can be like). I did send, not because I wanted to, but because i didnt want him unsatisfied. I even mentioned to him i almost had an anxiety attack or felt like i was having one when i sent and he didn’t acknowledge that and kept asking me over and over. I also told him i felt awful after i did send.

Initially i never thought of this as coercion but after i ended this “relationship”, i couldnt stop thinking about it. I felt so ashamed, so awful, i couldnt sleep sometimes because of it. It made me hate the idea of anything remotely sexual, and til this day i think it impacts how i view sex and i feel very dirty and used because of it. I feel like crying when i think about it and i wish it never happened, it shouldnt have happened because i promised myself i would never do anything like that.

maybe i just regret it a lot but it feels extremely traumatizing. Its been several months and its still on my mind and i dont know what to do. Maybe im just looking for someone to blame but i just feel

awful about it… i wish i never met this guy.

Please let me know what you guys think so i can have some clarity on this situation.