Coping…
Hi everybody, I’m sharing my story as a search for a coping mechanism…
I am for the second time dealing with the same problem and this one happened to me 5 years ago (I’m currently 21). I was sexually assaulted by an acquaintance and at the time all I could feel was shame and guilt… in my eyes I was the one who put myself in this position.
This lead me to shove what happened deep and I tried to ignore what happened as much as I could and that was a great coping mechanism at the time. It allowed my to go one with my life as I thought “normal”. Only now after talking to a therapist I understood what happened and could name it which helped me realise that the problems I had the years after where consequences of this event.
I have severe anxiety and panic attacks and now all of the things I couldn’t deal at the time are coming up making it hard to cope with. The first time was more violent which in a way forced me to deal with it and I can say it doesn’t affect me anymore, however this one, despite not being so violent, was psychologically challenging and it lasted very long… I hope I can get up from this ground and be able to have my life back again…
im sorry for the long post./ sending love to everybody ❤️
I'm really proud of you❤
@lilyofthevalley17
You have the inner strength to be able to get up and start moving forward again. There is the possibility that going through the second assault has awakened some memory and emotion from the first, thus making it a bit more difficult to process and heal from.
Each step you take forward is another step forward on your healing journey, give yourself permission to heal and understand that what happened was not your fault. We feel guilt and shameabout it for various reasons, but those are feelings we should not be made to bear.
Stay strong, my warrior, you are a survivor. 💜