Don
Please be honest, please don't lie, I've been told this wasn't assault and I really want to know if it is or not.
I was seventeen years old at a family party. I sat down next to my older cousin who was probably 28 years old at the time. She was drunk. I don't remember when she put her hand on my thigh but I realized she was rubbing it up and down. I started to get uncomfortable and when I looked at her, she kissed me on the mouth. I froze. She pulled away and said in Spanish, te quiero, which either means I love you or I want you. I looked away, I was shocked, and her head rested on my shoulder. Her hand was still rubbing my thigh and I thought I imagined her hand getting higher. I stood up, and when I stood up, her hand traveled to the back of my thigh and then proceeded to go between my legs and up my butt crack, over my clothing. It was one swift motion. I was able to walk away from her, and I haven't spoken to her since. I don't know what to call this but I never wanted it to happen.
@goldfinch97 Certainly unwanted touching, and touching your groin and buttocks is definitely inappropriate. I would consider that groping.
@goldfinch97
Hey there Goldfinch
I am so sorry that you had to go through this without consent and that others have been invalidating your feelings. The truth is, if you think it is assault, then it is. If it wasn't, it wouldn't have come to your mind in the first place. The definition of sexual assault is 'it is an act in which a person intentionally sexually touches another person without that person's consent, or coerces or physically forces a person to engage in a sexual act against their will.' You definitely have been touched without consent and made to feel uncomfortable, so yes, you can see it as assault.
Again, I am so sorry that people have been invalidating your feelings and your assault. This can be very hard to process and please know that we are all here for you. You are so strong!
Take care & stay safe
@ButterflySiel thank you. I have always felt like I was overreacting and this was very validating to hear
I'm sorry that this happened to you! I agree that it sounds like assault, as it was sexual contact without your consent (and in fact you moved away). I don't think you said whether you're male or female, but while both men and women often have their accounts invalidated, there is a belief that men can't be assaulted because they're always up for anything sexual. If this is how it has been framed to you, by those who've dismissed you, please don't listen to them. Trust your gut instinct.
@Rosa9570 thank you for your words. I purposefully left out my gender in the post because I think part of the reason I've been invalidated is because I'm a girl. I never hear about women assaulting girls and it has lead to me being quite confused and feeling alone/different around other survivors.
@goldfinch97
Ah I see! That doesn't invalidate your experience at all, assault and abuse sadly does exist in the LGBTQ community. You're definitely not alone (I'm not assuming you're LGBTQ, just that you're not alone in being a woman assaulted by another woman). But it's a shame that some people around you don't seem to realise that assault is assault, regardless of the genders of the people involved. Take care of yourself.