Having a breakdown
Everyday is a struggle for me to get out of bed and complete my tasks for the day. And now I am laying in my bed in the same spot that I was held down and raped a year and a half ago. I can still feel his hands on my wrists and the pressure from holding me down. And every night I relive the day he took everything away from me. I try so hard to work past everything that has happened but I have no idea where to even start. Life is such a struggle.
Oh my goodness @Shytalker15
That sounds like an incredibly painful memory, and I sincerely hope you're able to access the support you need.
One thing I can absolutely assure you of.......it is not your fault. Whatever the circumstances, whatever if, buts and maybes you may form in your mind, rape is utterly inexcusable, and your attacker is guilty of a terrible crime. You're not, and yet you're the one living with the trauma of it.
There are people on this site who can listen to you and support you with the memories of that trauma. Please don't suffer alone any more.