Healing from old trauma
Hello, I am new to this app and community and I would like to try and learn how to try to put my abuse and assault behind me. (Trigger warning) My first boyfriend abused me and took advantage of me sexually throughout the entire relationship. We were together for a long time and I thought that it was what I deserved. He gaslighted me into believing I would never find someone better. Fast forward years after I finally left him and the relationship still haunts me. I found another guy who I love so much but my trauma keeps getting in the way of being comfortable with him. If he even raises his voice slightly I flinch and he feels terrible that he unintentionally causes flashbacks for me. Is there anyone in this community that has gone through something similar? I would love to talk. Thank you.
@scaredturtle13
Hey there ❤️ Welcome to our community!
I'm really sorry to hear what happened to you ❤️ I haven't been through something similar, though I do know it how feels like to be pressured and belittled into believing that I deserved the treatment I got. I'm really glad you managed to leave this relationship, and that you've now built a much healthier one with a person who understands and respects your needs and trauma ❤️
Healing from trauma like this is a road of ups and downs - it's okay if some things are still really difficult for you. What I would do was just to take things one problem at a time. It can be really overwhelming to try to get better in every aspect of all of this at the same time, so it could make things easier if you just picked out one thing to work on. In all relationships, communication and trust are key, so you can talk to your boyfriend about this and pick out something that he regularly picks up on - like your reaction to him raising his voice, for example. In this case, it seems that your underlying fear is that you're not safe, and you can then work together to come up with a series of steps you can take to remind you that you're safe now
I wish you all the best in your journey ❤️ We're here to walk through this with you- you're not alone in this. Take care, and I hope you'll have a good day ahead ❤️
Thank you so much for your reply. I am definitely going to try and take things one thing at a time like you suggested. It feels so great to be heard and I am glad I found this community to talk to while I’m working through this. Thanks again ❤️
