Idk what this is but I feel sick.
After 4 months of being devastated by being dumped by the person I considered my best friend and my life partner, I wanted to make a new friend. Have some sort of connection that wasn’t with my ex because I wasn’t falling out of love and I wasn’t getting better. Well. I’d told the boy that I was going to meet that I didn’t want intercourse, he said that was perfectly fine. It was going ok at first. We were watching a movie and he was rubbing my back. He started getting more handsy and then… well. It happened. I didn’t tell him to stop, but I didn’t tell him I wanted it either. I feel dumb for not saying anything and I feel disgusting because I wasn’t ready to do that with another person. I feel so gross and used. I just wanted to feel better.
Hi there. Don’t try to fall out of love with your ex, it will happen organically. You need to fall in love with yourself first ! Obviously still put yourself out there if you feel ready for that, but make sure you focus on yourself first in being a single person and learning to recognise yourself as that! We were all born alone, a companion is just an added bonus! It sounds like this person you have been seeing may not be the right fit for you right now. But don’t allow what happened make you feel any less about yourself. You are going through a confusing time, you are entitled to mistakes. Put that memory into a box, close the lid, and move on from it. It’s just a chapter in your life that wasn’t one of your favourites ! Remember to focus on yourself, get yourself out there, make new friends, create a to do list that you want to do as a single person! Enjoy the freedom of making your own choices just for yourself and not having to factor someone else in to those choices. Life is too short to worry or care about our mistakes, so don’t feel bad about any of it !
