I feel helpless

Long story short, I was raped a few months ago. It was by my ex’s friend. The person who did it doesn’t recognize it as rape, but it seems like he has done this to multiple women. I’ve been trying to get authorities in on this. I have a police case working but the medical evidence gathered can take up to a year to get results… i was originally told by my detective it will take up to 6 months (it’s month 5 now.) i just found out a few minutes ago it can take up to a year, maybe longer. This has been eating away at me and I feel so alone. I have dealt with this trauma in not so good ways. I have met up with the person who did this after the incident to face him and not fear him. Weirdly enough I even developed feelings for him at some point, despite what he did. It felt like being a double agent. I was extremely confused at where my emotions were going. But those feelings eventually went away, I think it was a place of rock-bottom self esteem and desperation. I just want justice for what he did to me, for what he probably did to other women.

I feel so helpless. I thought police would be able to help me get justice, especially if he has done this to others, but i feel he will get away with all of this. I am greatly overwhelmed and feel very alone, misunderstood, judged. I am afraid I will never be loved. I have not told my family because they would be devastated. I am going through all this alone.